the lesser gender? (for all the MCPs out there..)

Firstly, I'm not a feminist. Neither can I remain in silence if someone badmouthed about my gender. I must admit that my crucial years of development were spent at a single sex school, which environment promotes one to have a full confidence in oneself, go out and stand up against the crowd regardless of their races and gender. We had been champions for years in our basketball team defeating the chinese schools around KL and other boarding schools in Msia, we even defeated some famous male schools around KL in dikir barat (and caused the famous male tukang karut to faint, the moment I'll never forget..hehe..good job Mizah n gang). The point is, in the years the school had created a system that nurtures the students to go out having the confidence to face most of the modern challenges nowadays (regardless whether the students would be able to pick it up or not in the end). So the point of the point is, I have a very stern background of going against racists and also male chauvinists. Heh.

I believe that Allah SWT has created human beings in a very unique and correct proportions that one person is a complement to the other and vice versa. The world goes in rounds, so thus human. And we have this sunnatullah, the rules that the creatures should abide in clear conscious or not for the smooth sailings of the life. So don't wonder too much how destructions and war happens, clearly people are being a lil naughty and not following the rules.

When it comes to gender issues, I have always been holding on to what I have in me from my previous exposures, which almost definitely creates my inner stand on this issue. I don't read the book "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" and such FYI. Though I agree, scientifically and also by observations, a lot of the facts are indeed true. It's just that when people attenuating the facts and started making them as a way of generalization, I think that's when they hit the first red cross. We are not the same although we're of the same XX chromosomes. Genetically, biochemically (in proportions I mean), physically, emotionally. I may liked to play masak-masak with my anak patung when I was a kid and my female friend loved polis sentri. Siti loves to collect cute teddy bears and wear pink dresses while Lina prefers car miniatures and baggy pants. Do that makes me and Siti more girly and my friend and Lina a deviant female? Well it does in the heads of the MCPs I know. He he. Oh an MCP is a Male Chauvinist Person if you don't know.

Having said that, and up in my opening statement, am not a feminist either. I am certainly against these female activists who fight for gender equality. For the second time I have to mention, MALE AND FEMALE ARE NOT THE SAME. Both have weaknesses and strengths in various areas of life. Taking a field which is dear to me as an example, the medical field. To start with, how many male students are there in a class (Let's not take overseas classes as an example shall we? Let's stick with our old Msian meritocracy system in school.) Not many, right? From my observations in Msia, there's overloading female medical students with scanty males; and most males that made it to the faculty can either be very smart, nerd but intelligent, too boastful, baik and alim, or going to the very negative end (and fastly becoming very common), a bit in lackness of Y chromosomes if you know what I mean. Yet, it's still from this rare species the students rely on as a leader or class rep of their class despite many brilliant and supreme female students. Make sense? No?

Going a bit further. Doctors. Obviously more female doctors graduated from med school than male ones, as we have a big number to start from the very beginning. In practise I think female junior doctors still predominates guys. But how many female doctors make it to the top and become consultant in a hospital instead? Not many! Are you confused now? Why is this bizarre phenomenon happens?

Well, the answer to why the girls chose Mamat the nerd medical student as their class rep over other girls who seemed a more competent leader, and why out of 20 mixed gender junior doctors there's only 1 female doctor and 6 male became consultant specialists in the end is not rocket science if you think about it. It's all sunnatullah. The girls clearly had realized of how the most brilliant girl in the class with good leadership values can become all hormonal hence emotional at times which can affects her judgements. And in the medical career, female docs tend to back down a little when she started thinking about family and raising kids, thus the sacrifices in this context are on us. One doctor mum can raise up 3-5 kids who inshaAllah will be of the same profession or of the same qualities later if things go properly I promise. We are the hands that rocks the cradles. So, ARE WE STILL A LESSER GENDER though we're not the leader of a class or the famous thoracic surgeon in the hospital now? NEVER!

Because the key is the complementing system that Allah creates to balance things around. Even the grestest man in the world can't cope without the presence of a woman (sunnatullah, unless he's going against the current). And the toughest and macho-est woman needs a man in her life. For every great man, there's always a woman behind him, sounds familiar? Being superior than other is so subjective when people below you are actually doing their works accordingly, sometimes greater stuff than you do. It is indeed a perfect system already, it's always us human that tends to bleak. So again, we have been created so differently so that in the end we can complement each other in the beneficial kinda ways.

I may end this healthy (I supposed) arguement with a cartoon I received from Ola a while a go. Something to smirk at.


No heart feeling guys, bulan puasa tak baik marah..he he..

So the take home message is; WE ARE NEVER EQUAL, WE JUST COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER..

optimiste pour l'avenir

One week passes by so slowly. Ramadhan Mubarak peeps! I wasn't fully ready for this fasting month last Sunday, now it's Sunday again. The week wasn't so bad to be honest, it's just that I have issues with my time management.

I've started my medicine rotation in Connolly Hospital on Monday. It's a superb hospital. Well if you're from RCSI, this is the hospital you'd want to put on top of your application list for internships. (Waterford's second). The new wings are opened, there are not so many patients, great learning opportunities, great doctors and renowned consultants, good study environment, great research opportunities, etc. The amount of knowledge gained the first week there is equally the same for 4 weeks in Beaumont Hospital. Let's not talk about Beaumont. It'll kill the good air.

So the days were occupied with tutorials and consultant teachings. We went to see patients in between classes, finished the compulsory OSCE, do OSLER with the tutors, attended ward rounds and clinics; at the end of the day I was wearied and unmoved on the bed once I'm back home. Soreness physically and more mentally. I wish I had more than 24 hours in a day. I know I can't. There's more stuff to do. My life isn't just about medicine. (Though it seems predominantly is at the moment).

I don't know how people do it. I think I'm fit enough to endure the day. And yet I'm left with aches and panda eyes. It's about balancing the surge of enthusiasms in learning and the amount of energy there to serve. Take supplements? Gym? Yoga? Retail therapy? Hehe.. (I missed yesterday's 7a.m NEXT sale, thanks to people who made me think twice before I pour my money out unnecessarily)

Luckily it's Ramadhan, the month of blessings. And I'm an optimist. Heh. So I'm gonna take things as it is. I figure the best way to be happy is to live every moments while I'm at it. While it doesn't stop me from thinking about the future, it surely helps making my life became more meaningful. Du'as, tahajjuds, Quran recitations, family and friends, a good walk, great food, comfy duvet, laptop and S3 IS, tv and Grey's Anatomy..life isn't worth to be gloomed about.

(I didn't mentioned books did I?)

"Are you Sunni or Syiah?"

Last weekend I purposely didn’t want to go back to Dublin as it’ll be the last weekend of my rotation here, plus I’m cutting the nauseas and tiredness of the 3 hours journey by bus. (And cutting the cost of the bus fare too). So on Friday evening while having dinner with few other girls who stayed back in the apartment, the news about Pope Benedict’s controversial statements was aired on Sky News. Since all of us are Muslims, we couldn’t be more of the same minds on how displeased we are and how fuming fellow Muslims all over the world would react on his provocative statements.

It was a long conversation we had and one thing led to another. Up till a point that I realized that we were actually talking and agreeing about the very same issues; of the invasion of Palestine and Lebanon, of boycotting Israel’s and American’s products, to the many leaders of the world who’s doing their good and bad parts in this so-called war on terror. Up till a point when my rich syiah friend offered me if I want to have the list of things to be boycotted, and I said I would email her the same thing as well. Yep she’s a syiah, but our minds were locked in the very same world issues.

I still think it’s a shame that sometimes people judge other people by the differences in their faiths, when in truth you could have so many things in common that you can work your way together.

I remember seeing this patient a week ago. He was in his late 60’s, looked very well-versed and was reading a thick serious book when I met him. We chatted and I did my clerking and physical examination, then I finished by looking at his drug cardex. While I was tightening some loose ends on the history, he asked me,

“So, are you a Sunni or Syiah?”

Smiled. “Sunni.”
“Why do you asked? Do you think it makes a huge difference to you?”

“Well, it’s breaking Iraq apart for sure. They’re killing each other now.”

“It sure does. That’s because the media and people (like you) are looking at it the wrong way. Things became uglier.”

He bragged on the differences and I insisted on the common grounds. At last, he finally agreed on few similarities and I had to approve on few disparities as well.

Though I may disagree on the way my syiah friend says her prayers, or the celebrations she celebrates, or how she dresses, or even the way she love lentils and chick peas with olives and salads (and she probably wouldn’t agree on my anchovies and dried shrimp paste as well), I learn that we can’t always escape the truth but we can surely stop making further damages by finding issues we can definitely nod our heads together with. We are indeed living in a very grim world with harsh realities. Now it left to us whether we’d want to jump and drift in the same dismal current, or pick up few good things and use it to our own benefits later.

in Port Lairge

(*senget..)

I’m back in Ireland, the good green land of Shamrocks and Leprechauns. Almost half a decade being in here, all I can say is that Irish never fails to amuse me. It’s their courtesy on the roads, how they respect the pedestrians, the way they smile at you though you’re a complete stranger to them, the professionalisms they show at workplace, how courteous they are when dealing with customers in shops, the list goes on.

Having said that, I can say that I’m also amazed by how simple these people (Westeners) are leading their daily lives. Taking food as an example, it’s funny to think that they’ve been eating toast with butter and jam if not scones, or well, sausages and omelet at best, for breakfast all their lives. Let’s compare with what we, Malaysians, eat for breakfast..well, let’s not. It’s obviously incomparable. I was having my scone one morning when I realized that it’s the same bland scones I’ve been eating for breakfast for the past 4 mornings. Suddenly my taste buds yearn for section 15’s tosai rawa with teh tarik. Yummy! I honestly feel sorry for these people who are missing one huge part of life’s excitements; great scrumptious food! Why go dairy and cheesy when you have all these spices in the world that can dance tango on your tongues so elegantly? Owh food, great Malaysian food..

Well, the only thing I miss about this place is the weather honestly, and alhamdulillah the weather’s been very decent since my arrival apart from some heavy rains once in a while. The view’s still very much charming in rains notwithstanding. Well, I’m an optimist.

I traveled down south to Waterford the morning I arrived Dublin for my first final med posting. A week late from the scheduled date and still very much tired and jetlagged, I was ready for any consequences of my actions. There was no reason for being late whatsoever; I’m at the most crucial point of my medical course and the fact that I just finished my elective posting in HUKM a week prior wouldn’t sound good for a reason when they’ll soon find out the outcome of that elective (other than the fun, err not so impressive!) if looking at the amount of knowledge I’ve gained.

Nonetheless, the good side of it is that I already have the momentum of being in the hospital mood thus the change of environment wasn’t abrupt, so coping was a lil bit easy this time. And I smiled broadly when the first question I got from my consultant on the first day of ward round was interpreting an ECG, which I had done numerous times (and failed a lot of times) during the elective in HUKM. Guess the elective wasn’t bad, at all..

Last week flew very fast and I passed every awkward moments (of not knowing what to answer when being asked in class, thus cute face was made) with flying colours. This week my level of concentration dropped, so badly that I can’t do any studies once I’m back in my apartment. I miss home dearly. I miss Pia to be exact. I can imagine how depressed I’m gonna be if I were to work here for my internship later. Well, whatever it is, I’m still leaving the options open. We’ll see..

GAMBATTE SHU!

sunset at my backyard

I spent the evening showing Naqib the 4 kittens we found in our store at the backyard whence I glanced at the horizon and saw the prettiest sky I've ever seen since we moved to Bangi.

"Wah cantiknya langit, Acu nak gi amek kamera sekejap lah," I said.

Naqib looked at me as if I missed something. Unsatisfied, he said, "Lain kali cakaplah ALHAMDULILLAH!"

(tahan gelak) "Thee he he, bukan alhamdulillah la Akib, SUBHANALLAH.."

"Ala, alhamdulillah pun boley.."

Hmm



Well, big thanks to my immediate xifu who gave me a crash course on "Photography for Super-Dummies", jasamu kukenang.. If Dr Jemilah said and I quote "Volunteerism is a very sexy and definitely the in-thing nowadays", I'd like to urge her to try photography. It has definitely changed me from being a super-self obsessed person in every picture to someone who don't give a damn about being in any. I just want to take more and more pictures! Do I feel even sexier? Heck, yeah~ thee he he.

Sorry if I was being a bit overrated, I know. I started very small with my S3 IS and I keep in mind that someday I will jump into the wonderful world of DSLR. Wait till my Mastercard's tough enough to endure this expensive lifestyle (I burnt a huge hole on my Mastercard for S3 IS, duh..)

Nonetheless, my summer break is coming to an end. As I've mentioned couple of times previously, this summer break has been serving me a different flavour to the previous ones. Do I became more mature coming out of it? I think so. It has became clearer on me what I want to achieve in life and the after-life, the means of achieving them and the possible bumps on the way. I pray that Allah SWT will make things easy on me, inshaAllah.

So with my little back-to-Dublin checklist mostly ticked, I think I am quite ready to go back to the geek world of a final medical student. Though half of me is still randomly left scattered at places I've been in throughout the holidays, I think the small bit left will do just fine as a start. I will miss home, big time, but it's time to move on. (Did I say I've became more matured? Mann.) And one thing for sure I will definitely miss the serenity of the sunset view at my backyard..

Bon voyage, safe journey.

Ja~