Iman Sofea

I can't get enough of this baby, seriously.

Sofea was adopted by my sister when her biological mom left her at the hospital unwanted. She was so thin and weak when we first had her. Now alhamdulillah she has gained a lot of weights, just like any other Wans, truly. The house is filled with little cries again, Naqib has become the big brother you wished you'd have, everyone's so delighted by her presence.

Indeed, God's plan is the best. You'd be better off here with us. I promise I'd love you with all my mights.

signalling from home

Last time when I said I will see u guys from M'sia not very long from now, I din expect it to be 'this' long, seriously. So what had happened in the past month? Palestine and Lebanon hacked, Tsunami revisited West Java, Datuk K and Siti cleared the fog (as if I care that much), Italy won the World Cup, M'sia voted the 3rd rudest country by Readers Digest, a lot of friends are engaged and married yet I'm still the same old me.

Not quite hopefully.

Up till now the summer holidays've been serving me to the fullest. And I still think I could do better than this. Though I would like to extend my apology to my fellow SSP girls, I haven't been in contact with u girls since I got home. The mouth will utter excuses so I won't attempt to open it. I'll try to make it up to u on the reunion day if that's sufficient. My bad.

So I actually went to Brunei for a week with 4 other IMAM fellas to attend a forum on disaster relief. I learnt a lot from the conference about disaster management and stuff normal people would find uncool, hehe. I must thank the people from the Institute of Medicine, Univ Brunei Darussalam (UBD) for their kind hospitalities, from the students to the lecturers and the dean of medicine. Special thanks to Prof Kasule for the invitation to present the last trip to Acheh, I do hope my very short presentation had initiate the idea of students power amongst all those big shots in this disaster relief work.

Not too forget the friends I met in UBD who brought us around their tax free country of Brunei in their Merc Kompressor and BMW 3 series, I can't imagine a life of full tank of gas with just 10 dollar like theirs. I'll barely make out of Bangi with that much of money to fill in the tank of my small car. You guys are the best!

All in all, the single chance I had when I met our sisters in Brunei was the most rewarding moment I must say. It's good to meet people that tune in the same wavelength as yours, hearing their stories made me realize how little I've done all these while to contribute. The pearl of wisdom I took home with me from a sister was; usrah bagaikan nyawa bagi seorang da'ie. InshaAllah I'll try my best not to miss anymore usrahs.

Family-wise, there's a new baby in the family. Iman Sofea was adopted by my eldest sister when she was just few days old. We welcome you with all of our hearts and souls dear baby. At last, a baby girl in the family after the two heroes. I can't wait for next summer so that I can buy a lot of pink dresses for Sofea.

Next in line? Some people might've heard about this already. InshaAllah I'll be going to Cambodia with other IMAM friends next week. Another humanitarian mission, please make du'as for me and my playmates for our safe journey and return.

Semoga musafirku kali ini mengajarku lebih banyak tentang kehidupan.

this is Qalb 2

I think this might be one of the last entries before the holidays. No I'm not going home, yet. Yes the exam's still going on. It's the limitations; the time, the heartbroken, the mean of blogging as well- yes last day of wireless communications will be this Monday, then I am as good as before the broadband age, no string attached.

I am still sick, it's taking its course. I'm all purulent green if you wanna get into details. And I'm still homesick. And I'm heartbroken too. Not from the four lettered word you lovebirds out there, the world has got more to offer than just that. I learn that once we soak our feet into this business, there's trials and tribulations in front of us. "Orang yang sentiasa tidak salah ialah orang yang tidak berbuat apa-apa" quoting Ustaz. And at this point I appreciate the healing touch from the words of Allah SWT in the Quran, like the Prophet (S.A.W) used to find assurance and relief from his anxiety and sadness (94:6). May this trial makes me grow up a better person.

Nevertheless, I attained my BAO (Bachelor in Obstetrics & Gynaecology) yesterday. Yes the results were out at 4 pm. Alhamdulillah, out of my fever and sickness, I passed. My carry marks from the OSCE wasn't that strong so I struggled my best for my written and I did well, alhamdulillah. The final clinical oral pulled down the total marks a bit, but alhamdulillah, I still pass. That's my rezki on the plate after a hard days and nights work, and I'm grateful for what I got. At this point I treasure the true care of a friend whom I barely know since the beginning of the course. Not too forget the friends around me, and my family, especially my mom.

Speaking of mom, who learnt how to send an SMS just before my oral exam started coz she was worried that I was sick. Yes my mom who never before knew how to type an SMS, who let the kids manage the mobile and she only dials and hungs up. I was melted knowing the fact, and giggled sometimes at the funny words she sent just to cheer me up. That's mom, my comfort.

It is indeed a matter of the heart. One time we're happy the next second sad. Life is full of ups and downs.

Ibnu Rawaahah berkata kepada Abu Darda' (RA) sambil memegang tangannya, "Marilah beriman sejenak. Sesungguhnya hati lebih cepat berbolak balik daripada isi periuk yang menggelegak."

I don't suppose these will be my final words before the academic year ends, but if they are, then, many thanks for coming here every now and then, I apology if I ever said anything hurtful and inshaAllah I will see you in Malaysia, not very long from now.

Please pray for my other 3 subjects in the next 2 weeks, I will need your prayers with me.

this is Qalb

It is at this time of the month when everything suddenly goes the wrong way.

I am all hormonal
The room is messy
The final oral is on Thursday but I can't get my head into it
The doses of the medications are all ruined
I can't see the link between 150mg oral Ranitidine and twin labour
I miss my parents so much
I wanna call them but I don't have a calling card
I wanna go home badly
I have to get the laundry done
Oh God I hate doing laundry
Papers are all over me
My healthy diet is ruined
I cooked white sauce pasta from scratch and realized how much fat in it
I ate the pasta anyway cos it's delicious (self-complement)
I still can't believe how much butter they use to make that sauce
I will think twice next time I order spaghetti cacciatore in Verona
I started having sore throat last night
It's getting worse
I've ran out of medications
I don't wanna take the oral with a husky voice and a temperature
I have 50% chance of getting Prof Malone for my oral
He is not a very amusing gentleman
I am freaking out
And that overrides my efforts
I am now anxious
I have to run few errands for my clinical electives
No one's helping me when I asked for help
It actually saddens me
Got few text messages from people I met in Acheh
That kinda cheered me up a lil bit
At least someone still remember me
Oh I'm such a sad sad person

Praying for a better end of this mess.

a blessing in disguise?

As I am writing this entry, death tolls from the recently hit by quake Yogjakarta keeps on rising by minutes. The first thing that crossed my mind upon learning that news was, "MashaAllah, satu lagi ujian Allah pada hamba-Nya." Face of a friend that I know of who's reading medicine there emerged in my head, apa kabar dia dan kawan-kawannya agaknya..

It kinda saddens me thinking about the conditions of fellow Muslims around the world; the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the occupation of lands and dignities in Palestine and Chechnya, the occupation of the minds in lots of other Muslim countries (or any title they claimed to be). As if that's not enough, we had tsunami in Acheh and Sri Lanka, followed by the major earthquake in Pakistan, and now another trial from Allah SWT to test His servants; the recent quake in Java, which just opened up another possibilities of an eruption of Gunung Merapi later on, wa naudzubillahimindhaalik. And what about the chronic unfinished business in Sudan and other parts of Africa, and the silent tumours of Southern Thailand and Cambodia which are killing the Muslims there very slowly?

There's so much things happening I don't know where to start. How could someone so tiny (literally) and incapable like me offers any good when the world is falling towards a great imbalance of basically everything!

Hmmm.

But I also learnt that chances are nil if we only play a bystander role. Our ummah is haemorrhaging (read: bleeding profusely) and in dire need for our helps. Perhaps Allah SWT gives the Muslims all of these catastrophies to test how far other Muslims would go to offer help. Ingat kisah burung pipit yang nak tolong padamkan api yang dinyalakan Namrud untuk bakar Nabi Ibrahim A.S dengan menggunakan paruhnya? Burung lain tanya kenapa ko buat ni? Impossible la boleh padamkan..(that's my line..). Tapi si pipit tu kata, "Inilah usaha yang aku dah buat. Dapatlah aku menjawab bila Allah bertanya nanti, apa yang aku dah buat.."

That was a bird, of beak the size of lesser than a teaspoon. What about us? The complex being that has been given the responsibilities as khalifah cum servant in this world; of every details of deed and sin is written down each moments, what do we answer when Allah asks us later? Not only that we're not helping, we somehow contribute to the damages by our acts and ignorance, what more of the fatalities we've caused with our own hands!

Nonetheless, I've also learnt that it's never too late to repent. What's done is done, and there's a lot of opportunities to amend the damage. Help, by all means. When we're comfortably eating nasi lemak and teh tarik during one very fine morning, our brothers and sisters in Sudan are dying of hunger and thirts, and late at night when we slip into our warm duvets, the homeless kids in Palestine are dying of coldness and deprivations. There are a lot of non-profit organizations out there that offer the platforms to help. Here I give some of the main charity bodies that runs the appeals and works, with them soiling their feet in these messy yet inshaAllah rewarding business, the least we can do is donate and support right? Afterall, I remember one of the hadith which says,

“A Muslim is a brother of (another) Muslim, he neither wrongs him nor hand him over to one who does him wrong. If anyone fulfils his brother’s needs, Allah will fulfil his needs; if one relieves a Muslim of his troubles, Allah will relieve his troubles on the day of resurrection; and if anyone covers up a Muslim (his sins), Allah will cover him up (his sins) on the Resurrection Day.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Wah bestnye..

Please do help.

May Allah SWT help us back later.