this sick strange creepiness

I'm back to the cold and creepy Dublin, the last place I want to be now. The journey back was not too bad and I was travelling with Yani, Buff and Francis. We arrived in our new basement flat on Saturday afternoon and I was instantly struck by the loneliness of the place. I miss my home dearly and still missing it right now. It seems like every little thing that I do, my mind would fly back thinking that how would it be if I were in M'sia. So there's only me and Yani in the flat, and the cable was terminated by the former tenants that made us the most lonely people in Dublin. The creepiness of the place really caught me inside, I felt like crying everytime I think about M'sia. It is very hard for me to adapt for this time, my mind still continuously thinking about how I miss my parents' nagging, my sibs talking, my nephews crying, my cat, the place, friends, everything. And I'm still figuring how long would I be this way. A week maybe, or longer.

So the flat is the only comforting thing that I hold on to now. It's a very cozy place, a bit bigger than our former flat and there are nice kitchen, washroom and toilet. I sleep in a single bedroom which is at the rear of the house, every morning I open the window the dandelion flowers at our backyard would fly into my room and stick at the pink carpet. And I also realized that there are these two orange cats that would sit on the brick walls at the backyard in the morning playing with each other. Someday I would go and bring them into the flat, I will. John our landlord has cut the grass shorter yesterday evening so there'd be no more dandelions causing messes and it's a good time to think about barbecue in the backyard while it's still summer. When the chill kicks in there'll be no more fun other than staying in the house with the heater on for all times. In Dublin, seriously I can go nuts for the chilly environment, it's my weakest link of all. Cold.

The school started yesterday though there'll be no class till Wednesday. So there's a new team for Medicine and Surgery for everyone for the coming 6 weeks. (Lucky me?) I was put in the Neurosurgery team with my 4 other teammates. A Chinese Msian lad, 2 Arab guys and an Indian American lady. I can't say more about them, the only people that I have the experience working with is Jonathan the chinese guy who was my anatomy groupmates and that's about it. For Fawaz it's just that I always talked to him as he is the library people like me. Sa'ad, nothing much, we were in Blanchardstown last term and he once asked me in a copying room to have a copy of the MCQs paper I was holding at my hand at that time. And for Amita, the IT Officer for the new Students Union, never talked, don't bother about it, and looking forward to see how she goes with the team. Hope she'll be different from what people say she'd be. Who knows right? People might be wrong. I give her my plain white clothes as a beginning, put away all the judgemental thoughts and see how she'll decorate the plain piece of clothes. We're a team anyway anyhow, who's gonna make the days much easier if not for ourselves, so let's make the team runs as it should be. And good news (hopefully), our intern is someone I personally know, my Malay senior who just graduated last summer. I hope this 6 weeks are the ones I will truly treasure, and what more I'm in a surgical team, wayyhayy. I think I'm more into surgery than medicine. Uh I can't tell now, it's just the beginning.

Tomorrow's gonna be our first ward round and us meeting the whole team eyes to eyes. I've got to work on it or else I'll be looking really stupid in front of few of the most brilliant brain surgeons there.

Still missing home.