if only you'd understand

It's the fact that I'm only halfway packing my stuff and I need to finish before sunrise, and the fact that the little mouse still lingers around the house though my dad has cleaned the food store, or the fact that I'm wearing the rose pink top that I thought I've lost 2 years ago, and the fact that I; as I'm writing this; had only freshly graduated not more than 48 hours ago, and still the fact that I need to finish pack up stuff yet I'm writing you, and mainly the fact that my friends, yes the beloved friends, are going home for good, one by one, leaving me in this cold place for at least another year to go,

- that make tonight extra hard than it's supposed to be..

It won't be easy, I'm losing my grips.