Post-Exam Syndrome

It's good to be back here, although the blog appears to be cacat a bit but who cares, I like it the way it is, at least for now (rationalizing to cover my own laziness). Yes just to let U know that I finished my exam at 20 to 2 this afternoon, and man, never felt so relieved. To think about it, this time the exam format is way much simpler as compared to the Second Professional in coming February, and yet at one point I thought I couldn't go on with it, there's too much to handle. I spent the last few weeks in isolation in my room at the rear of the house, maklum la bilik amah la katakan, went out once or twice to friends' house and one time I went to study beside the canal out in the cold and went back home with a numb face and limbs, a runny nose and the feeling of being threatened by the hungry looking swans who looked at me as if I'm a huge delicious blueberry muffin.

Anyway the papers was not too bad, Microbiology was a little hard for me and Pathology department seemed to be a little tame on the students this time. I don't exactly know how I did it, I just hope I pass, with some credits. My initial greatest concern was on Pathology papers, my heart was beating badly just before the MCQ started I thought I might faint there and then. After few attempts to calm myself with some home remedies mom taught me, I finally got control of myself, reaching my glasses and looking far on the left side of the exam hall. There it was, the botak head I miss in these last few weeks. Haha, just for the record I was fully calmed by that look. OK I know I should stop there.

In my incubation period for the exam, my head keep spinning and spinning thinking about the great list of things that I want to do after the exam ends, and yet now that it has ended I'm not sure what are the things I've been putting in that list. This happens to me a lot, I guess it might happen to others as well, or at least other inorganized people like me. Let me see, window shopping; done, makan kebab; done, eating ice cream; it will be Eli's treat so I have to wait for that, makan M&S Choc Cookies; done, seriously, what a treat, and yes I went to HMV and there it was, the special extended version of LOTR The Return of The King, if I had no control of my own purse I would have buy it for myself, instead of for my housemate Arnee who has the same collections as mine. Anyway, it's a win-win situation, I'll get to watch it TONIGHT without having to pay for it, and Arnee gets to keep the DVD. Wait till the Christmas sale, and hope the price would go further down, I'm going to hunt it till the last copper penny in my purse. Hehe (and U wonder why I keep running out of money even before the second half of the month).

So what's next. I have few unsettled jobs for the coming winter gatherings, going to attend some usrah, going to have my sleep sleep sleep and sleep, cut on food; I think for the exam I have nearly one bottle-full of coffee granules in my stomach and few full packets of biscuits for cicah with the kopi panas I made for more than 5 times a day just to keep my eyes open and my brain alerts, going to play bball; even the rest of the playmates don't want to play, try to go to the gym; I don't know but the dancerobic workouts seem to be more tempting than the good-old conventional gym, window-shoppings some more, real shopping on Boxing Day (I know I know, control yourself Shu), study Micro and Patho till I get sick of them, practise Clinical Skills for Medicine and Surgery exam, kemas rumah, watch good series on TV; for the Christmas they're putting the whole series in the final season of the O.C, FRIENDS, and few other more for few consecutive days back to back, and yes finally, I'm going to Conventry, UK for a gathering for few days before the holidays end. It'll be my first time attending gatherings made outside the country and glad for that fact. Sometimes a change is good, get to meet new people see new faces.

I guess those are all, I must've left some but I guess what's up there are more than enough already, I'm being pretty ambitious to add up some more.

I'll write again, U'll be sick of reading my writings in this duration of holidays. Anyway, to Nisa and Ili, enjoy M'sia for the length of your holidays!

Exam mode: Stress Reliever

My ustazah back in matriculation used to say that after asar is the time for a student to go out and do physical activities, or stay inside doing some mind relaxation things, namely reading storybooks or watching tv. In another words, do something other than a student’s obliged to do = STUDY. As for me, I’m not really sure when was the last time I did physical activities or read storybooks, OK the latter wouldn’t be counted in coz I’m not into reading, but yeah I’m just emphasizing about me having a little more time for my own self, and it’s been sooo long since I had that.

At this time around next week I’d imagining myself to be in the Grafton St or Henry St doing some window-shopping while eating few scoops of ice creams, or I might be in one of the halal outlet celebrating the end of Christmas exam, and yes it’s 7 days towards the exam now. People talk about stress when it comes to exam, believe me, I had mine in the worst form for my First Professional Exam last year. It was terrible; I went to bed with the worst nightmares everynight and woke up with aching body as if I was badly beaten. I (think I) cried in my sleep a lot of times, and life was never greyer than that. Talking about nightmares, I had a friend who had a dream of herself throwing away some babies from a top floor house outside to the road and when she realized about it, looking down there were bleeding dead babies on the road. Cruel dream, but that’s just how stress comes into form.

For the benefit of everyone and myself, I’m thinking of putting some methods for stress reliever, and they are all based from my personal experiences. Some may work but if u really think about it, it’s all under one’s mind control. U don’t have to be stress if u don’t want to, really. So here they go, good luck!

:: Talk to God; the best and most effective way to relieve stress, trust me.

I found that performing solat sunat would be the best way. I have a friend telling me that what they used to do in school each morning was reading Surah As-Sajdah and performing sujud Tilawat when it comes to the 15th ayat. And it is so true that memanjangkan sujud could really (really really) calms u down. And those are just piece of what u could do, there’s a lot other ways if u really think about it. (Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest! –28:13)

:: Talk to your parents or friends, someone outside the circle

Parents would be the best pairs to talk to (but if it happens that they live far away from u, think about other simpler and cheaper means of communications, or else, pay the price). I remember this one senior doctor telling me that when he was studying abroad, each time he speaks to his mom, he’d never forget to ask her to pray for him, though he always knows that every mom would do that without being asked by her children. And he really believes that half of his success today was contributed from the prayers sent from his mom.

:: Pamper yourself

There’s a list-full of things that u could do to pamper yourself. What I mean by pampering oneself is doing something nice and pleasurable to one. Like myself, I found that having enough sleep could be really helpful (I mean, what’s better than hibernating under the comfortable duvet in the cold gloomy autumn). Sadly, I haven’t really got that for quite some times now, most extra times are spared for extra works to pay back the extra playtimes I had before, serve me right. I was thinking about burning essential oils which would be most helpful now, plus I just got a complete aromatherapy and candles set for my birthday, when I realized that I haven’t got any matches or lighter to light on the candles. I kept meaning to buy that but still I forgot. Anyway, I also found that shopping is a good way of self-indulgence. But this option comes with a price; pardon me, two prices; money and time. But seriously, it really helps to relieve the stress when u pamper yourself. Cook, dance, sing, sleep, whatever it takes.

:: Eat nicely

I know everyone’s been waiting for this option yeah? Eating nice food would actually be in the upper list, but then I thought it would be better to make it an option of itself. By far eating has been the most popular method people opted to relieve stress, and when I said people I mean friends around me and myself. Statistically, out of 10 friends, I would have at least half gaining weights during exam times. This is the period when people pay the revenge of stuffing themselves with food and holding the exam as something to blame later on when they put on weight. Sweet. I would be one of those people mentioned, with the only difference that I eat delicious (unhealthy) snacks and junks during exam that I seldom eat out of the period. Things like nice chocolates, tasty crisps (and a bit costly like Pringles Dippers and Dips, thanks to those who created exam, I have a reason to buy those), fromage frais (which meant for KIDS only), ice creams (white Magnum is the best) and also 2 minutes maggie mee and PAMA.

Just for the record, chocolate has been a popular source of stress reliever, scientifically proven or not I’m not sure myself (who knows it might be the Cadbury company that started spreading this urban myth huh? {Don’t tell your relatives who work for Cadbury about my assumptive and accusative statement}). Anyway there’s a hormone that’s supposed to be released when u eat chocolate that’ll eventually calms u down. Don’t have time to check that in my biochemistry textbook, I’ve got a more important thing to concentrate on. Anyway, I have a friend telling me that eating yogurt, yogurt drinks or anything like that would be helpful in dealing with the stress too. I tried that last year in my First Prof Exam battlefield and it worked, seriously. Apparently the same hormonal mechanism of action as for chocolates applies for yogurts too, and that’s why I’m on my everyday fromage frais tubs. Well who said that exam sucks anyway?

:: Listen to something nice and soothing

Linkin Park would definitely be kicked out of the list now (anyway the new LP and Jay Z combi is really cool). For myself, Tracy Chapman helps me a lot, it’s not something that I really want to sing a long but then it’s not something that would make me fall asleep. Sedang sedang aja bak kata orang Jawa. SO7 is too absorptive, I’d end up muttering every words or else berangan and senyum sorang2 thinking about the good moments I had with my SO7 gangs. The morning crews on 98fm are a nuisance twosome, I’d go cracked with them on air (and not concentrating for that). In the end I guess nasyid or Al-Quran recitations would be the best options other than the good-old Chapman, and they come with a package; u get some pahala by just listening. Now tell me any religion that has a better offer than that huh?

Well I guess I have few other methods that I could use but then this has really consumed my study times. Exam mode has turned me into this crazy time maniac where every single second counts. Of all these kekepaman of staring at the papers everyday, deep inside I really miss walking down the wards with the writing board in my hand, glancing in each rooms to have a quick look at the patients, smiling to the nurses (and cute doctors). Oh yeah, wait till January when I’ll be having my Medicine and Surgery exam, you’ll be crazy hearing me blabbering about how sick I am to be in the wards. Now u go and try those, I wish all the very best of luck in the exam or everything that you’re doing now.

Till after the exam, don’t miss me (I know U would :p).

Confession: I'm Old

Well yesterday was my 21st birthday. Some said that one gets the ‘key of freedom’ on his 21st birthday, I’m not sure what’s that to be put on me. If my key of freedom is marriage, honestly I don’t need to be 21 to get the license, my eldest sister got married when she was 19 or 20 years old before she flew to UK. Our parents trust us in making this kind of decision. Then it brought me to think that it might be the freedom to choose, well 21 is the age it needs for one to cast his vote in a general election in M’sia, not sure about other countries (yeah yeah I need to know those political thingy now, great..‡ or maybe I don’t have to, well it’s my freedom to choose aight?). A friend of mine got a necklace with a key-shaped pendant on her 21st birthday from her mom, saying it’s been passed for generations now. As for me, to really weigh them all equally, my key of freedom is when I am capable to make the right decisions with the right knowledge that would lead me to all the good things in life herein and hereafter. And that would be a long way to go before reaching there.

Jumping from the above issue, I’ve been thinking hard yesterday, of what have I obtained in my 21 years of life, well U don’t want to live long and not getting anything from it don’t U? Easy said, on my 21st birthday,

I wish
::I was at home to celebrate it
::I could kiss my parents foreheads thanking them for raising me up to be what I am now
::(I was younger than 21)
::life is simpler than what it’s been recently

I hope
::one day, I’d have the capabilities to give back what people have given me
::I could be a better person than I am now

I regret
::that I’ve been a difficult child to my parents and my siblings (U don’t want to know how bad I was as a child)
::that I’ve been a lousy friend to some when I was younger, believe me I was naïve
::that I didn’t use the chance to taste the sweetness of friendship with some when I had one

I miss
::my sweet childhood in the coast, life was easy back then
::my true friends, that open their hearts to know me, being there in shines or rains
::my school life and everything in it
::my whole family dearly

I love
::most of things in my life now, as for some, I just wish they were different

I hate
::people using other people in order to achieve what they want
::the cruel (Bush’s) armies and cronies ditching people from their own lands (u burn in Hell)

This is getting more boring, I should stop it there. Anyway for the day I got many text messages from family and friends, few online messages, cards and packets from home and gifts. A (already knew) surprise party was thrown for me from my flatmates and for that I got a PINK spring coat, 2 handbags and a deep fryer. They know I’d never buy (or wear) a PINK coat so they bought me one, cheeky huh. They’ve long wanted a deep fryer in the house so they gave me one, more cheeky huh. Anyway, thanks for every effort made for me, I appreciate them so much. I’m feeling a little too old for a celebration, I don’t know why. Maybe because of the wrinkles I got, or because of the presence of the new juniors in Dublin, or because the fact that I AM technically old, God-knows.

At the end of the day, my award of the best gifts goes to

This

Naqib on his last day of kindergarten

And this

Latest Ariff, both photos sent in CD from Ola


And I’m still pondering on my childhood life even now, ever since I received this text from Along

‘U’re 21?? Thot u r 12. Rminds me of d times when u were 12..was a hell of a task to raise u 2 b what u r now. A’way, still long way 2 go. Stay strong, Sis!’

(I told U I was a difficult child *_*)

As for the exam, I’m feeling tired and used, evidence by the dark eye bags (don’t take medicine as a career if u wanna look young always). I need something to rejuvenate my life, I seriously do.