holidazZZEee..

i should have posted this one few days ago when i just finished my exam but due to some delays it got stucked here n i have to rewrite it back now. before i forgot HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY to my freind Jihan who still think she's 17 (poor her! :P)..it's Monday morning (err not morning, afternoon or evening i guess), n it's not a usual one because it is a Holiday Mondayyy huhu yeah the christmas break has started immediately after the exam n it's gonna be up till 5th of January...it's a long duration for ppl who's gonna do nothing just enjoying the day till it's over but for me, it is the shortest holiday ever for me to do all my revision for my First Professional Exam which gonna be in February...

i have taken the weekend off, doing nothing at all..i woke up at 8 for my subuh prayer n slept back till my eyes couldn't get to sleep anymore haha..woke up, i spent the whole time watching vcdsss (lots of em) till 2/3 in the morning..it was heaven i tell ya..but only for the weekend..plus i got few invitations for open house, (Cikgu n K.Zu's, Malaysia Hall's warden---the food was damn great!!, Husna's house, Hanis's house), and we also played UNO EXTREME and few games using the UNO cards (HEART ATTACK--really2 heart attack, and BULLSHIT--if u ever watched How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, this is the game which Andy plays with Ben's family)..we also went to Farah's place to watch Anugerah Era '03 n Konsert Reunion Akademi Fantasia..haha..terubat rindu kat Mesia...n today, i was supposed to go to Blanchardstown for bowling with my friends, in fact i was the one who suggested it BUT it turned out that i still have few days before i can withdraw my monthly 'income' from MARA..n i only have few cents in my pockets now n my jackpot for hutang piutang has reached its limit i guess, so i decided not to borrow money from ppl anymore before i got myself into trouble paying 'em..damn money IS the root of every problems....

so here i am now..spending my times in the library..it wasn't like my imagination here actually as there are quite a number of ppl in the library though it's holiday now..yeah the 3rd meds haven't finished their exams but other that, there are loads of my classmates here n the unbelievable thing is, THEY HAVE ALREADY STARTED HOLDING NOTES FOR THE FIRST MEDS STUFF...so early..i bet they have started doing that immediately after the exam..haha..n wut i mean by saying 'them' is not ppl from the Middle East or Asia, they are the Caucasians, the group off ppl who really excel in studies n doesn't take much time in understanding wut the lecturers are saying (daaaa...it's their mother tongue)..so wut happened to me now??start heating up ur seat Shu..there's not much time left now....(hmm where do i start??)..yeah i think this is one of my advantage..i see pressure from the outside and alternate it to motivation inside (err do i really capable in doing that actually?)..n i actually have to search for pressure so i can motivate myself to do things n not feeling comfortable doing the things i'm not supposed to be doing...but sometimes the pressure does overlapped the motivation leading me to feel the TENSE..but so far alhamdulillah they're all in control of me (with a lot help from Him)..and i hope they will always do...

so i guess i have to start sorting things out now..work on my schedule so that i can use this holidays to the uppermost...plus have my bestest times also (hey who can resist the programmes they are putting on tellie for this x'mas--the movies, friends, n loads more?)...

may the force be with me....good day ppl...

the greatest gift of all

it's been ages since i last put up my new entry here...n how do i start on this one..there were so many things happened to me that i considered as 'TRES IMPORTANTES' to me and to put 'em all here seems impossible..it might took me the whole day for that all..haha...if only i knew how to put up pictures here, i'll save up talking as they really represent all words spoken..

i just finished my oral exam for my term 4 exam this morning..luckily my session was one of the earliest so i didn't spent much times worrying wut's the questions like..i dunno, maybe He really answered all my prayers on this one (and i really thank Him for 'em, i really do...startled by the fact that He always look into me even when i wasn't behaving good to Him..forgive me as i am dear God)..everything went unexpectedly smooth (seriously unexpected) and i think i brought out the best things that i have in me and left them to judge me..(i had the worst combination of examiners that they said weren't behaving so good to the students before me but they turned out to be good to me...n i woke up today having the hunch to read the stuff that unexpectedly being asked by them...how could i be more thankful to U dear God?)..i dunno..i just hope i passed..and a credit for honours..

30 NOV WAS MY BIRTHDAY!

My beloved Mak was the first one to wish me 2 days earlier.. (i actually got few cards from my family few weeks before, they came with the parcel and also individually)..the next one was from Rehab, my arab friend from UAE, that came with an unexpected present, a nice black handbag, purely made in italy..when do i use that one????on the night of my birthday i got a surprised party from my housemates (thanks guys!) and Faha and Yani gave me an UNO extreme game (another source of distraction) and i got a pair of black suede gloves from Arnee (just when i need 'em)..later that nite i got tonnes of text messages from my friends in Ireland and Malaysia...thanks for the thots!the next day, it was Sunday, as usual i went to the library and surprised by a special tribute by my friend, Nisa, on her page (check it out at www.nisayasir.blogspot.com/)...terharu againnn...u really made my day friend!the whole series of wishes and presents going on that i already forgot how the sequence went..a quick recap, i got a huge 'The Simpsons' poster from Aida n Shikin, a Laura Ashley jewellery box from Hanis, a cute doll holding a heart-shaped frame by Eliza, a set of Boot's Royal Jelly bathing stuff by K.Fauzana...err i think that would be all..so sorry if i left any..also thanks to those who gave me cards and to Hati who printed my Pharmacology project (with her brand new printed) and never charged me--she said that was her present for me..haha..wut a creative one...

just when i thought i have nobody here, U sent me not just one, but tonnes of friends for me to be with..

EID MUBARAK DEAR BLOGGERS..this year's Eid was great..we cooked all the basic stuff for eid= nasi himpit by Arnee, rendang by Yani, lodeh by Me and Faha cooked tom yam to serve with kuey teow for the guests..we finished cooking at 2 and the eid morning, Faha n Arnee rushed for classes (poor them) while me n Yani prepared ourselves up as we only had class at 3 in the evening..morning events, as usual we went to Malaysia Hall for the prayer n takbir, unfortunately the small Hall would never accomodates the 'millions' of malaysians in Dublin now haha so we waited in the blizzering cold for bout an hour to go in..i only got to perform my prayer with the 3rd batch..i think the government should be doing sumthing bout this--sending tonnes of ppl here but still we have only the small, old building Malaysia Hall..

wut could u xpect to b greater than EATING during eid..i ate like i never eaten before, from 1 house to another..haha.. i think i've gain few pounds out of that..this year i also got the chance to go for our ambassador's open house on the second day of eid (which i missed last year) n got the chance to view the big mansion of him-damn i wonder how much do they pay for the maintainence of that mansion..if only they use that money for reconstructing the malaysia hall...

to sum up, evrything went great for the past few weeks..n i hope it will be greater for the coming ones..i'll be having my written exam in a few days n mcq paper 3/4 days after that (i'm always bad in remembering dates)..

i have to go back..i'm starting to feel nauseous..this must be of the lack of sleeping i had last nite (i slept at 5 in the morning)...

CONGRATULATIONS to K.Siti Hajar and Amar for their new-born baby boy, Nur Luqman (born on the 29th Nov, few hours before me..)...he's the cutest baby ever n i'm starting to miss him now..after the exam i'll go n visit him...

Al-Fatihah

yesterday was another day that i'm going to remember in my life..arriving just on time at the college, i was shocked to hear a bad news from Ean..as miserable as she was, the news was from Michigan,US saying that two friends of hers passed away on the day before..Ean was so damn sad and she went home halfway thru classes..later in the afternoon i got a text msg, sort of indication of the tragic event to be 'officially' occured..there goes the msg...

"....As'kum, dapat berita dari Michigan, US dua orang pelajar perempuan 21thn meninggal dunia 6 30pm 9 Oct waktu US selepas buka puasa dilanggar pick up (pick up truck!). Mereka meninggal di tempat kejadian. Seorang bernama Nurhananim ex MRSM Taiping dan seorg lagi Teh Nannie Roshema ex KMYS n ex ACS, Kampar. Al fatihah kepada kedua2 arwah...."

i was told that both girls are going to graduate from their college by december or march..n it occured that after iftar they went back home, but they were wearing black attires that the driver of the truck didn't noticed they were crossing the road...pardon me if i'm wrong but i just quote wut i heard from other ppl, n it's in Him that the truth lies..

Al-Fatihah to both of them..semoga roh mereka dicucuri rahmat dari-Nya dan ditempatkan dikalangan orang2 yang beriman..amin..

high-spirited

the weather's a bit colder than usual today..i woke up late (8 30am) and buckle up to the library..n guess wut by the time i reached there (err here i mean) i was the first one including Farah (a pal) whom i met at the entrance, who were in the library..nerdie????keskes..

today i checked all my junk mails and found out that i still haven't got my mails from the IMAMUKEIRE group into my inbox, instead they all go to the junkies..after straightened things out and catching up with the things they're discussing in it, i checked with yahoo and found out that i'm still not registered to the group..adoii..how come i've already got all the mails without being one of the member..gapo dio nih??fenin fenin..but i suddenly got this spirit inside me after reading all the mails by the professionals and i realized that this is it, it is always been my dream to be involved in these kinda things..the MERCY (ever watched the movie 'selubung'..yes i'm totally influenced by it..haha..it's true), all the voluntary things that u do, going to one place and serve the people there..i hope that one will come true someday..Mak will never allow me to do these things (i once tell her bout this) but i think i won't be satisfied of wut i am without experiencing these kind of things...

yeah it is true that there are a lot of ppl in malaysia that need doctors, y go serving ppl in other countries when u have ppl waiting for ur services in ur own country..but u see it is not evryday that u got the chance to have the experience studying abroad, joining one professional group and have the channel to do all these things..even when u have the chance, it is not evrybody that has the urges to go, as i do.. so i think it is nothing wrong to be doing that..they say u'll be more grateful of wut u r when u see other ppl suffers from the lacking of things that u have...so i really do hope that one day i'll have the chance to go to one place, Iraq, South Africa or anywhere in the world that need me to serve the ppl there..and i'll keep the memories in my heart and let 'em be as guidance for my life ahead..n if i die during performing my duties, i won't be regret it, ever...

so many things to be said, but they just came wordless..

illness or the thing behind it?

the sun started to shine after two days of glooms and strong winds...finally!few friends of mine had their umbrella broken into pieces after walking in the rain and wind (the wind here is so unexpectedly strong..sape yg kurus2 tu will face a hard time walking thru it..this is seriously true!)

i was seriously ill for the last two days..i had a rising temperature with cough and production of green sputum, headache and i can't get to sleep of the intense heat from my body...that was the first time i experienced that kind of illness since i got here last year...started to think of wut had i done wrong before that He gave me such signal to re'muhasabah' myself..hehe..maybe there were some part of me that wasn't really pleased Him..maybe it was my mouth..yeah maybe...think i talked too much lately..hehe...but after hibernated for one whole day under my duvet and continuously taking my medicine, i finally woke up today with some freshness in me and packed my things up ready for the library..yeahh here i am now...but i got these ugly dark circles around my eyes from my illness and i think they are easily recognized by ppl as my friend Ean asked me wut's wrong with 'em just now...takpela..it's not that i'm gonna meet somebody special around here..(err who knows i would?)

so a lil recap on my ramadhan...i performed my 1st tarawikh at the Dublin Mosque..it's common here that they only perform 8 rakaat of tarawikh with 3 rakaat of witir, and there's no shoutings by the bilal in between as happens in M'sia..and as usual for one night they'll finish one juzuk of Al-Quran..there were so many malays there (as predicted, most malays live near the mosque's area) and after the tarawikh finishes i went to one halal shop to buy dates..i had my first breakfast at the Malaysia Hall with most malay women as we had Hari Helwa 2003 on that day..it is an annual event of HELWA (Hal Ehwal Wanita), which is a sub-organization from PPIMI (Persatuan Pelajar Islam Melayu Ireland)..it was a great one and heh guess wut i was the emcee of the day..toink toink....

the next day till last night, i performed my tarawikh at home with my housemates, rotating between ourselves to be the imam and bilal..i think we won't be going to the mosque much as it is quite far from home and the tarawikh only starts at 8pm...plus the wind and cold..and for breakfast..lately we've been so crayzee to cook dishes for breakfast...u know when this kinda craving came, it's like oh shit i have to cook it now or i'll die not having it..haha..up till now we've made curry puff (menggentel karipap sampai kul 2 pagi...), kue ketayap, agar2 cocktail and i was about to make sardine roll last nite when Yani told me that there's a lot of things that are not finished yet in the fridge and yet i'm cooking another one..hehe..yep we have some bits of chocolate cake (from la boulangerie) and the agar2 left in fridge..but i miss murtabak so so much and think of doing some later..relax shu it's only a week of ramadhan..

i have to start working now or i'll regret this later...

the i-missed-evrything-day..

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall...
-rise&fall...craigdavid&sting

nice slow song that goes smoothly into ur ears yet full of meanings..for me i dunno whether i'm in my 'rise' phase or wut but i dun think that i'm in my 'fall' phase now..i never had any experience, never know wut it feels like to be on top of everything but i'm striving to be one, so pray hard so i can push myself and later i can tell evryone how's the feelings like..hehe..

i'm so happy today..FINALLY i've finished my psychology project after spending one whole day staring at my laptop screen..so now all i have to do is purely just CONCENTRATE on my studies, the lectures that i haven't looked at yet and stop fooling around doing unnecessary things..i'm still stuck at one psychology lecture note that is the "Physiology of Pain" by Dr. Cliona Buckley and it feels like an endless thing to be looked at and i always have things that interrupt me the moment i started to look at that particular note..hmm..i'm not so sure y is that so...\(*_*)?

today is also the day that i missed evrything that i've scheduled before..firstly i missed my appointment to see the college's GP (general practitioner..ala ala dokter klinik kat mesia tu la..family dokter)..i dunno somehow i got a letter saying that it appears at their (Mercer GP) record that i still haven't completed my TB screening..one,never in my family had anybody who has TiBi and two, i did go to St. James Hospital for the x-ray and to Mercer GP for blood test last year..wut else do i have to do??

secondly, i missed my netball practise..err correction, i'm the reason y evryone didn't have their practise today because i was supposed to go checking with the student union whether the court is gonna be occupied by anybody today at 4.30, instead i just made my 'intelligent' assumption that nobody's gonna use it and it turned up that the men's basketball team are using it at 5..padammuke..the end product ot it=we won't be having any practise till the real tournament this sunday...i'm starting to feel that the mood of playing has already gone...

thirdly, i purposedly made myself to miss my swimming class..my last swimming class for the season..hmm it's just that i felt i've already spent most of my times playing and now i need 'em for my studies..guess now my housemates (yani, arnee and faha) have already wearing their suits ready for the splash..huhu..nevermind, i'll settle my priorities first...sunday's gonna be the real playing-day for me...

guys sing..
"It feels like something's heating up, can I leave with you?"
and ladies..
"I don't know what I'm thinking bout, really leaving with you"

...searching for the right one...

stuck!

i'm in the middle of my studies actually n i suddenly felt that my brain couldn't take the things that i was stuffing it into anymore n then i realized that i haven't performed my asar prayer yet..there goes the ding dong alarm from Him...huhu..so i went down to the 'dungeon'(basement part of library where sisters perform their prayer at) n pray there..at last i've all my psychology lectures updated n afterwards i'm gonna catch up with my pharmacology's (lots of 'em), some neuroanatomy (i think i'm beginning to like this chapter of anatomy) n one or two (i'm not so sure) physiology notes...

i have an interesting topic that i wanted to write but i dun think i can accomodate that one into my hectic schedule now so i hope i still have the topic up here in my brain when i have the free time..lately i think i dunno somehow sumthing special caught me up deep inside n i can't stop thinking of the thing..scary huh?the good part of it is that when it comes to a situation like this i'll always go back to Him n pray up so that He'll clear out the fog inside me n it makes me value my prayer more. maybe again this is another alarm of Him to me as i think lately i am turning to a more 'lagha' person..more sounds of music inside my ears than the sounds of appraisals to Him n i think this year is my least one of fasting n doing good deeds in the months of Rejab n Syaaban..it is!n soon Ramadhan's coming over..am i all ready for it?

another month of Ramadhan away from home...

catching up

i realized that i've only posted like 2 or 3 entries after i got back to dublin..haha i knew it that this thing might happened since i first put my hands into this bloggy things...

well today wasn't that bad..i had my lectures at 3-5p.m...n as usual i'm spending the rest of the day in the so-called my second home-the library...i'm sitting beside the window n a moment ago i just saw my crush passed me by with his damn georgeous face..funny that today he wears his snowcap on..never seen him like that b4..things are getting busier nowadays..i have like more than 5 lectures that i haven't look at yet n i have to submit my psychology project by next monday..misery misery misery..(n y am i still spending my times doing this thing?)

haha while writing i'm actually listening to few interesting songs that i retrieve from other's ppl music library (using the student server in the library, u actually can open files from other ppl's music library, i mean other ppl that's currently using the same server at the same time as yours)...n heh i guess this time the owner of this music library that i got is a malaysian coz i can see some malay songs there...so i'm currently listening to 'misery' by the moffats, the song that reminded me of my ol' times when i still have my 'fren' that i share a lot of songs with..the one that i share all my problems with n the one that share the same interest with me n also the one that i thot i'd spend my life with before (but not anymore)...funny how ppl change in a short period of time..hmmm...i'm not so sure, is this wut ppl call the process of evolution?

i can't really write much this time...have to catch up with things!i have a netball tournament this sunday, RCSI vs UCD( university college dublin) but amongst the malaysian only la...so my sunday would probably be gone just like that so i'll have to settle things i'm supposed to do on that day before the day comes...err wut kinda sentence is that..haha

***hold me now..i'm six feet from d edge.....

cold day...

huh quite some times since i didn't make a new entry..n now i think is d purrfect time..i'm in the library now n it's nearly 6p.m..the library, at the ground floor as usual as busy as ever, ppl lingering around whispering away some unheard words, but me sitting still with my headphones on hearing my favourite songs, ignoring 'em all...today is superspecial to this one part of the library, the place where ppl uses their laptop, coz today the new students got their BRAND NEW AND IMPROVED version of macintosh x...envy them for the internal cd burner and also the dvd player..lucky i got one new student in my house, Faha (former kursyian, Yanie's pal back in school)..boley aaa tompang sekaki..hakhak..even this guy beside me is setting up his laptop, following the instructions given...hmm..rezki depa nak wat camne..i'll just stick to this ol' usefull laptop....

it's getting cold around here..ppl have already started wearing their colorful mufflers n gloves and also long coats around...i sent mine to dry cleaning last friday n should be today the collecting day but think of taking it tomorrow..tahan aa sejuk for one day...n i must buy a pair of gloves coz i lost mine..think of buying a brown one that matches with my muffler (that particular muffler that matches my crush's one..huhu)..winter's coming over n nights getting earlier than usual..i don't like that coz i can't do much in the morning...woke up at 7 n it's still dark outside, go to class n by 5 in the evening it's already dark again..how much can ppl do within that duration of time???n i also hate the fact that winter is COLD...i'll be in my duvet all the times, wearing robe in the house with socks on n have the electric heater on till next month when the bills come i'll have to cut down the expanses to pay 'em...how hard life is...i still have to face it....

study is ok...i'm currently updating my studies so that i can steal times to do revision on things from my last 3 terms...i haven't buy a study table yet so at home i just study on my bed---the consequenses are baddd...i'll end up sleeping or pouring inks on my bedsheet...i still don't have the gut to go back home from the library when it's already dark outside coz it's dangerous to walk home alone in the dark(last times i took a bus home coz it's not within a walking distance..now i moved to a new closer place, dun think it's appropriate to take a bus..i'll waste away my 80 cents..)...have to do sumthing bout it..if i go home early i'll waste my times doing inappropriate things...but i'll jeopardize my life if i go back late...whick one do i choose..haha..

i have to look on psychology notes now...there's 2 of 'em n i dun think i'll manage to finish 'em b4 dark..gambate!!

miss my family n frens...i really want to have s'one that i can talk to but i dunno who (n how to get him/her) :p ....

new year ahead

alhamdulillah i've started my new academic year today with my lecture at 3pm n ended at 5..i was quite disoriented at first, maybe not used to the whole lecture situation thing or i'm not so sure y..before the lecture started, i looked at the people around me, damn it is soo good to see evryone around with hell loads of changes noticed..some straighten their hair, many changes the colors, one girl started to wear tudung/scarf..an arab girl, guys--some had their head bald, some did color their hair (eww), many put on weights but some got thinner..last person that caught up my eyes was my last's crush--still the same old him with the same hairstyle n the same georgeous face..haha..i'm not exaggerating ok..it is damn true...

today i'm gonna plan my year ahed...this year is not the one that i'm gonna regret..i've got to really orientate myself n have my schedule for revision..dunno how to do it but i'll try though..i dun want to have the last minute revision thing anymore, not in my First Prof Exam...arghh i'm starting to feel the heat of it...

maybe my next post ahead won't be a long one like before....

Angels or Devils?

i stopped writing the topic before that i should've continued for a while...a terrible thing happened to me like 5 mins ago n killed my mood..it really do...so i stopped my work on my project n wrote this...felt like crying but daaa i'm in the library..i won't just broke down n cry..definitely not here!

i was sitting at my place doing my work till i saw Eamonn n Adam, my irish classmates walking towards me...this was my first time seeing them since last holidays so i was sooo happy n waved at them...i kinda missed them, their jokes n all but the thing that i didn't expect at the first place happened...THEY JUST OPEN THEIR HANDS N HUGGED ME!!damn it i felt like crying but i really controlled myself n just smiled..we chatted a few things n they got out of the library as their friends were waiting for them outside....hwaaa i was gonna save that for my hubby one day (haha) but now they took it from me...damn it...

my hands are still trembling of the shock....it might be that they haven't see Muslims for 4 months that they forgot how we behave....God forgive me for that one..it was never my intention to be hugged like that..sob sob...(to add salt to the wound, TODAY IS 27 OF REJAB, THE MONTH FULL OF BLESSES..damn it...i'll remember this day for the rest of my life)

This is the last time
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight
This is the last time - I will fall
Into a place that fails us all - inside
I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
But fighting all the demons will take time
It will take time
The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever
Are we ever gonna learn to fly
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down
Come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

by Dishwalla

to Smallville fans, u might have heard this one if u did see the episode when Ryan (the boy that reads minds) died...sad songs..recently i'm soo crazy of this one....

..........chasing away the devils inside me...........

the past, present and future I : the past

my PAST..

a couple of days before my flight, i went out with Pah (i considered this one as my all-out outing)...i SPENT quite a lot n i really get myself off that day..we went to midvalley n i guess that was my first time watching 2 movies in a day..haha..we watched 'Pirates on the Carribean' in the morning (damn i lurve this movie a lot!!had a real gr8 laugh n that Sparrow guy is really something!!) and had 'The Italian Job' in the evening (this one was gr8 too, love the Mini Coopers!)..i dunno wut has gotten into me but i guess that was like my carry forward on movies..i won't be seeing any in Dublin..

i ATE a lot too!before the movie i was so starved that i bought a large hot dog at the 1901's (God i've already miss 'em)...after the movie i ate brownie ice creams at Baskin Robbins..arghh thinking of them made my mouth watered..and before going back that night we went to the Chilli's..i had grill chicken fillet with potato blended with cheese i think and they were fabulous!!!

Pah spent the night at my house n went back on the next day..the before my flight, i was filled with sorrow..i was never ready to go back...i called my closest frens to say g'bye n waited for Ola to came home, she arrived at about 2a.m just to send me to the airport in the morning..

so i went back to Dublin whether i like it or not...

the journey was ok (except for the fact that i couldn't get myself to sleep all the way in the plane) till i reached Heathrow Airport..apparently Timah (my classmate) had problems with her ticket, she was not in the list of the passengers...so she had to claim her baggage again and re-check in back at the flight connections counter..Jazree (a pal in Dublin), Nana (my classmates too) and me accompanied her to claim her baggage but it happened that in the end i was the only one who got thru the immigration to accompany Timah..i hesitated at first as i really doubt myself of handling such situation but at last i gathered myself up n kept telling myself that i can do it, for the sake of myself and my friend who was in trouble..

so we managed to get her baggage n we WALKED to terminal one (for those who know how big Heathrow Airport is, u'll understand how far is to walk from terminal 3 to terminal 1)..arriving there, i was so shocked to see the q's, it was so long that i doubt it i'll managed to catch my next flight on time..again i tried to be optimist, so i put Timah in que n i ran to ask one officer, telling all my problems n he asked me to go to ticket sales counters..i went there n the lady there said Timah would have to buy a new ticket to Dublin as she was never in the list actually..so i bought it for her (she didn't bring any cash) and after all the runnings and worryings, we managed to get our flight to Dublin at 5.40pm...i was damn tired till i lost my appetite...

to look back, i'm glad that i was there with Timah at that time, though i actually regret it to be in such trouble at first...let say if i wasn't there, she would've been stranded at the airport for God-knows how many days..firstly, she was the one with the problem, so she surely had her worries all the times that she might not capable of thinking clearly because of it..secondly, she didn't bring any money and her credit card was over the limit..thirdly, if i was in her shoes at that time ALONE, i would've cried myself out of the worries n scared...

saviour of the day?no..i just did wut friends do...

to be continued....

my unfinished job II

this one i wrote on the night before my flight..i coudn't finished writing 'em as i had to do some 'finishing touches' on my baggge, throwing away the unimportants and wrapping up some stuff...

***

Everyone seems so gloom n put on their long face…mad at me?might be..but y?I’m not so sure!I really do!or they’re just sad…are they?these things keep on playing in my mind till I’m not sure I can handle thinking of them anymore…ok here’s the situation..i’m going back tomorrow morning but now everyone keeps muting around at me…my heart aches inside, no one knows…god tell me wut had I done wrong?

***

up till now i'm still puzzled up by that matter..i asked Mak at the airport before my flight and she said nothing was wrong, said that Along was sad as she couldn't gave me much esp on money as she has some other priorities to be considered..hmm..are they for sure?i'm still not sure..let them be as secrets..

my unfinished job I

huh.. i didn't finished writing this one...but i'll just post it...i have sumthing on my mind to be put here later, maybe tonite..

***

i only have few things to be settled up for my preparation of going back..(do i have to have one???i'm not so sure...)..lately i've been receiving phone calls n text messages from my friends who'll be going to UK n Eire, seeking for my advice on things to bring n stuff..haha as if i'm too good at it..(few of them are new frens that i met during attended the pre-departure prog. for new RCSI students and the other is Ude, my high schoolmate who'll be going to University of Cardiff in the same field as mine..g'luck Ude!)...actually they reminded me of my time last year, when i was in their shoes..but i'm a lil bit mo lucky than them as i have Along to gimme some advices on it (Along graduated from Leicester University, UK in the year 2000,if i'm not mistaken, in Computer Sc.)..

for few days i've been posting new entries in the EVENING..never before i did that as for past few days i didn't use the internet at night..i kept falling asleep earlier than my usual time, funny is it but i'm not so sure y..nak kata penat sgt takla jugak..hmm..

***


i stopped there..looking at my blog, i actually posted the entry entitled 'the wedding' twice..i've deleted one of 'em but it just stay there...huh let it be lah..malas dah nak usik....

sad 4 the fact that i'm going back tomorrow...

counting days

i faced each day in this week with mixtures of feelings..glad to go back to dublin a lil bit early so i can settle my things up n start my new academic year high-spiritedly...BUT sad to be leaving home n things inside (family esp Naqib my beloved nephew n also Tomato my cat :)..) if ppl ask me 2 months before i'd say i love to go back rite now (due to the boredom as my hang outs frens were in varsities) but when the time came (now!) felt like sreaming out loud that i dun wanna go back..not now!

i haven't pack my things up yet..i just gather them around near my big bag..i think i've already got all things that i'm supposed to bring back except for some stuff..specs--have to get them this evening in bangi..baju kurung--have to ask Mak to get them from mak cik mah today..fleece!--i'll ask Ola or Along again bout this..if only Along didn't damaged the one that i bought in Penang..sob sob..buku panduan ibadah--have to buy some in warta when i go taking my specs...

i still wondering wut would i be wearing at d airport this time..last year i wore black n white suit..not sure bout this year..dun wanna wear sumthing too formal..hey i'm not a freshman anymore...i'll be in my SECOND MEDICAL YEAR in just few days..huuhu..glad bout that...(but sad bout the fact that i have to take my 1st Prof. exam this year....hwaaa)

i really hope that i won't face any problem at d airport this time..Yanie told me she faced some during her flight last week...excess baggage...some had to pay..said Ean had to pay up till rm900..damn..i dun wanna do that...i've spent too much of my parents money...not anymore...

gonna miss my frens...KETAPUs, SSPs, n also the one out there that i always think about...

..the wedding...

I’ve already expected this since I first launched this blog = a delay in updating the pages n the I-have-some-other-important-stuff-to-do syndrome. Lately I’ve been so busy with Angah’s wedding (my topic for this time, I guess) n I was also busy finding a house in Dublin (gr8 news, we managed to find one in Harrington street, a 2 double bedrooms apartment, not that big BUT really close to my college!!that’s the best part plus the rent is lower than last time’s and gas and ntl bills (cable for tv..ala2 astro gitu) are included in the rent!!)

So back to the real topic..

I guess if I were to put the whole story of my bros wedding, I would be typing this page out till tomorrow morning (sigh!) but wut I experienced for the last one week, not all of them can be put into words----they were just too beautiful to be described here…I guess this is my first time handling a real wedding though Angah is my second sibs, Along had hers in such a simple ceremony before flying to UK so I guess this wedding is like a payback time for our family…huhu..

The preparation..

They were 9 trays sent as gifts to the bride…I was with Angah n K.Rina when they were buying the stuff n I was also the one who decorated them as Ola was having her exam at that time..but I just made them simple n most things like shoes n silk clothes are put in simply decorated boxes. But looking on the gifts really made me think of marrying somebody rite now..they were damn gr8!!

The evening when the ‘Akad’ was held...6th September 03

We reached Tangkak, Johor few minutes after Asar n the ceremony went smoothly..the Kadi made Angah repeated his akad once..huhu..i was the camerawoman of the evening as Abg. Noi or Pak Lang ( the evry-occasion cameramen) weren’t there. I was stunned by the perfection of the ceremony, the Johorians really have their own style of this akad nikah things..they made the bride state her promises to be loyal to her groom n the same goes the other way round, they made them to ask for forgiveness n restu from their parents (this was the part when most ppl crying n sobbing real loud..huhu) n they asked Angah to perform sujud syukur after the akad was safe. It took quite some times for all that…n that night the ‘upacara berinai’ was held but we didn’t stay for it (except for Angah n his friend) as tomorrow we have to get back there…tired tired tired….

The day after that…Upacara Bersanding..7th September 03

We started to move from Bangi at 9+ a.m with my relatives mostly from Abah’s side being there..the convoy stopped for a while at Mak’s hometown, Kg. Belimbing Dalam to pick up some relatives..we reached Tangkak in the afternoon..the bersanding went on with the other 2 couples—K.Rina’s eldest sister’s n her brother’s (they all had been married with their couples mo or less like 1 months before)..wut an experience!

The GRAND FINALE..the ceremony on groom’s side..14th September 03

This was the moment that I waited for so long..huhuhu..it was held in a big dining hall in PERMATA (hey I live there!) n that was the purpose we didn’t have that busy schedule as all things are handled by the caterer..most relatives from Mak’s side had an overnight at our hse n they also help to prepare the things that weren’t settled yet..when the time came, I guess it was the most beautiful moments in my life (for the time being la hehe)..everything was purely purrfect to me (as if I was the bride le plak, but it’s the truth man!), the pelamin, the guests, the emcee (Along made a gr8 job as one!), the timing of the ceremony....everything……(no words to described them)…we were all (my family n most of my relatives) dressed up in blue-the theme colour n even the roses at the pelamin were blue roses…pelamin was decorated by Mak’s relative (mak found out bout him when attending other relative’s wedding…it was damn beautiful..i heard praises..praises..praises..)..the beriyani was damn delicious too!

My friends who attended the wedding..

Pah, Mira, Asilah n her sister, Chubby stayed overnight n helped me with the packaging of the sweets..thanks..they helped me providing the eggs to the guests too..thanks guys…luv ya all…

Azie..my fav. friend who came all d way from UTM, Skudai (she took a midnite bus...aku terharu sgt pasal ni) n arrived at my hse in the morning of the wedding day…n she was the one who was continuously giving away eggs n sweets to the guests n stay at the eggs counter till she fell asleep bcoz of the boredom..(weih aku tak dera ko tau..hehe..malu sgt nak bersosial mana taknye..)..this was her second time coming to my hse like that..last time she came before I flied to Dublin..this time I guess her intention was the same as last ones but added with the wedding..thanks a lot fren..i owe u a lot..

So the wedding was over..my excitements have been replaced by the feelings of sadness n glooms..i’m going back to Dublin on this 21st sept…think I’m not so ready for that..

Special dedication…to WAN KHAIRUDDIN WAN MONTIL, my beloved brother and ZAMZARINA KHALID, my new family member, may u have real happy lives together n I hope u’ll all cherish this bond till the end of the world…I love u all so much..

I’ll post up the pictures when I’m capable in doing so..huhu..too lazy to learn!

long enough?

a lot of things happened recently, since my last post..where do i start huh?

+ while writing this blog, i'm actually chatting with my rommates in Dublin, Yanie and Arnee (they are still in malaysia at the moment but they're going back earlier than i am) while searching for the new place that we r going to move in..we've searched thru daft.ie n found some suitable places BUT the problem is that no one is going to view the house for us!!!!!damn it...felt like flying to Dublin rite now to go viewing the places...tensen tahap dewa dewi dah ni...hope all our efforts being paid off by finding the BEST place to stay...amen

+ last 3 days i went out to buy some books and to make white coat at a place near to hkl..due to the heavy traffic (a real heavy one!!) i dropped myself out (hehe) at ukm, kl n spent the night there at Pah's room (considered my room already..jgn mare)..d next day after Pah finishes her exam we went to see the tailor but on my way there i tripped n nearly fell..at that time i've already felt something wrong at my right foot but i ignored the feeling as we were rushing to the place (plus to cover my shame to the few boys nearby that saw me..malu siut)..

after finished my business with the tailor i took a cab n met Nisa (my high school friend who's studying in Columbus, a blogger too!) at klcc...we had lunch there and only after that suddenly i felt the greatest pain at my right foot that made me waddled (macam common peroneal nerve injury le pulak) all the way to the prayer room..quite a long time since i didn't experienced this kinda pain..as i couldn't take the pain anymore, i decided to go to Mont Kiara Medical Centre with a few hesitations at the beginning but only to find that my insurance is covered there..a big thanks to Nisa for accompanying me there! the doctor was worried if i broke any of my foot bones (talus bones maybe) but after gone thru x-ray it was sured that no fracture found!i think i just had my tendons twisted or wut (wut else?they didn't put any dye to x-ray my muscles so that's my best diagnosis laa)...

the best part was, the doctor did gave me some painkillers for the pain n i took one on my way to go back to ukm, kl..n i never know that i'm allergic to THAT spesific drug---i had mixed oedema (those who didn't know, that one is a swelling due to accumulation of fluid) at my face, particularly my right eyes n i started to sneeze and i think i can feel my airway constricted at that time...as i experienced this one b4 so i just relaxed myself up n called Mak for my medication..i safely returned home after Maghrib prayer and got some rest till the next day...one challenge after another..will they ever stop????

+ n finally..today i went out to make an appointment for my interviews for psyc project at one private hospital in sek.17 shah alam..went there with Shikin (another pal in Dublin) and her mom..we searched for the hospital like crazy ppl in a car (seriously!!) and lastly only to find that the hospital just changed its name with its new paints..from Geriatrik Hospital to ColumbiaAsia Nursing and Rehab. Centre...sabojekla..but thanks to Nisa and Shera for the infos..we managed to meet one doctor and he settled the things with us, saying that he'd call us back in the afternoon for the appoinment..when the time came, i got a phonecall from one man saying his name was en.kamal n he spoke a real fluent malay..after a while i realized that he was the doctor i spoke to at the hospital..suddenly i felt so ashamed coz i've been speaking english with him at the hospital without even knowing that he might be malay or a person who speaks a real good malay (might be bcoz he's more to indian look kot...silly me!)...malu la jugak..macamla belagak terer..wondering wut he might be thinking of me...hmmm...

ooopsss think i wrote too long for this one..maklumla lamer dah tinggal...so i'll get back here later okey...may today brings all the happiness to me......

the visit of my life..

last friday i went to see the dentist in bandar baru bangi, accompanied by my parents after Abah finished his friday prayer. i have a big, i mean a reallly biig hole in my 2nd molar teeth, got this one when i was still in dublin (gigi terpatah sikit/serpih and there's a big hole left) and also my-long-before-identified caries at my insicor teeth..damn it how did i got that one!!memalukan sungguh!!

the doctor (Dr Sham if i'm not mistaken) just got back from his outing when i went inside. i didn't noticed his looks as he was already masked when he approached me. n so the treatment went on...while he was checking my teeth, he did praised me for my clean teeth, saying that i have a correct technique/skill of brushing my teeth (all thanks to Suhana, my good pal in KC who's currently doing dentistry in UKM KL). but the probem with me was that i didn't floss my teeth often enuff that plaque built up within the teeth=caries!

i'm not going to tell ya evrybit of things that went on on that day. but i'd like to share with you the things that crossed my minds while having and also after the treatment. firstly, i went to a private clinic and my first benefit was that i didn't have to wait for any second to get my treatment, secondly the doctor n the nurses there were soo nice to me n they're all very friendly (too friendly i'd say, asking me questions while my mouth opened wide enuff that i can put my fist in it--how can i answer them?) and i also got the best explaination ever of wut's going on inside my mouth-i guess a real idiot also could have understood clearly wut he was saying!n all these things came with a PRICE---the bill that was nearly reaching rm200...it got me into thinking---do evry good things in the world really have that high price??

as the world moves on, evryday more people get sick..n more technologies have been implemented in the medical world to ease the treatment process, and of course the impact is the cost of the treatment keeps increasing as the technology grows! well of course u can always go to the general/gov. hospitals but u surely get the best quality of treatments at the private ones, believe me as i've experienced this. i'm lucky to have my dad's insurance to cover my medical treatments n mum'm too as a government server (insya Allah i'll have my children covered up in their times too), but think of those who didn't have all these things. three/four days stay in HUKM would cost u nearly rm600+ or even more. sad huh? if only i can do sumthing to help those the needy ones (maybe i'll reconsider my ambition to serve in Mercy on any volunteering society huhu)

this thing crossed my minds too : insya Allah when i'm a doctor someday my children/my family won't have any problem in having their medical treatment, BUT how bout their (n mine) dental treatment????

possible solution : do i have to find a dentist husband for this????hahaha.. :p

gloomy day?

today ended up badly..i'm not in the mood of telling it..just felt a lil light on the head after letting myself go on this one...BAD BAD BAD GURL!!!!sometimes i dun really know whether i'm doing the rite/wrong thing..for me, according to my still-working brain, i was doing the rite thing, but to look from the etiquette side of view, it will never be a rite thing!!!!!damn it i felt like crying but suddenly i realized i've to be strong on this one, i really have to!!i'm not the ol' person they knew b4..luckily i had somebody to back me up from behind (that might be a sign for me that i was right at the first place!i guess my INTENTION was rite but i took my wrong ACTION to prove it...damn it!!!!!!hate myself for that one)..

REJAB are coming again and i was lucky to have one friend to make me notice of this month of blesses (thanks!)..but i regret it that i still not fully using my times, taking the month for granted, in fact this year's rejab (or any month b4) is the most pathetic one for me, not like before like in high school where i usually tried to fast as many days as i could, filling my times making myself closer to Him..but not this year..not in this particular year..dear God forgive me for wut i am...

''oh Tuhan syahdu nian maya-Mu ini namun syahdu lagi cinta-Mu.."

---searching for my soul...

wasting my precious times..

i just can't believe it that i managed to finished a nearly 700 pages novel in a day!i borrowed it from Asie during my visit to her place during UKM's Pesta Konvo the other day n i only started reading it by today in the evening..it was like i was being hypnotized by it n i kept holding the book even while eating my dinner..well i would say that was just plain me..i was being myself-an obsessive person..haha do i really am?

it's like when i put my hands on something, i'd go 100% for it n i'll only satisfy myself after finish doing it..some ppl back then in school/in the place i study know always told me (or they were just being sarcastic, i'm not so sure!) that i'm a 'studyholic' kind of person---i stay at the library too much---"alaa shu tu kat mane lagi kalau bukan rumah kedua dia (library)"---n so the story goes..but back here in malaysia, just ask my parents-they'd proudly define me as the person who has all the times in the world...a person who treasures her free times by---->simply doing nothing at all!!huhu i reall am!(they might see me doing nothing after they got back from work but God knows who did the chores before they do...)

so i guess i am an obsessive kinda person..when it's time to study, i'll be studying like i'm applying for Harvard Medical School (not in a million chance!) and when it comes to holidays, well u know wut i'll be doing!!for me, i can't mix things at a same time..n i salute for them u marry while still studying, i really am! (K.Siti Hajar n Amar!!apa kabar agaknye diorang kat Cork tu...K.Siti, just can't wait to see your big belly!!)..as i always say to my friends esp to Pah, "aku kalau kawin time2 belajar ni ade 2 je perkara yg bakal jadik...sama ada aku tak lulus sebab bagi laki aku makan, or laki aku tak makan sebab nak tgk aku lulus.."..sounds vulgar isn't it..but it's the bitter truth i tell ya!!for me it's just not sounds right to be doing the two opposite things at the same time...

but as a human being i know that all these things are in His hands..so i'll just play my best role as His 'hamba yang hina' and let Him does his job..i won't blame Him if it's really happen to me one day, who knows might be one of His tests on me...

i'm counting days to go back home..i guess my obsession on my holidays already fades away--sometimes too much holidays doesn't always seems good, moreover i'm not doing the things i'm supposed to do in this break..(there?i'm supposed to be studying for my first professional exam during my holidays but i just can't!!holiday is holiday laaa)..i have a lot of things to be settled---psyc project, angah's wed preparation, STUDY!!, buying stuff for my new home n for myself n more dizzy stuffs..first thing's first...DO YOUR PSYC PROJECT SHOE!!!!!!!!

today my Greek-Crush crossed my minds!!happy for the thot!

the greatest gift of all..

tonite i watched "gatacca" (at last! i'm biting the dust out of it..guess evryone has watched it b4 me)..wut a great movie!i sat still in front of the tv from the very beginning till end.

today i went to my senior's wedding! here goes a special wish to them, ZAKIAH AMIR + DR FAIZAL, may u have a wonderful life together under His blessings! they are tooo good to be true, they really do! after the wedding Yanie (my rommate in Dublin) and i went out loafing around, after withdrawing some money from citibank (n stunned by the technology inside!terase jakun giler time tu), she accompanied me to PC n today i finally bought my new BABY mobile phone that i dreamt long time b4..i wasn't sure buying it even when i finished paying it but while stepping out of the place i finally decided to leave evrything to Him n tawakkal..i've done my part n i hope He'll protect me in any way..please do dear God!i felt good after a while..

n yesterday was THE DAY for me..i started the day by following Angah n K.Rina (my sister-in-law to-be) to buy stuff for the wedding gifts..apparently Angah appreciated my comments on evry things he wanted to buy and asked me for my comments before buying anything, n that was a lil bit unusual of him to treat me in that way huhu but wut the heck! i envied them so much n in an instant i felt like marrying somebody at that moment huhu but deep down i know marriage is not a thing u can simply mess around with, it includes great responsibilities!do u have wut it takes shu??not now lah..one day maybe.. :P

after buying the stuff i went to UKM Bangi to meet my friends..i had a real great moments there, meeting friends that i never get to see since i left Kolej Chermai (KC) years ago..i noticed changes in them - Che Mat is now a person who talks quite a lot with his educated looks in specs, Zubaidi isn't the one shy guy anymore (still can't believe it he was the person on stage doing the theatre last year!!), but some remained the same ol' person - Pok Cik still holding to his good sense of humour (lawak gile), Nomad still have the big laugh (according to Amali la!), not to forget my females friends - Syida Ustazah being the same alim person, miss her a lot! Ira did lose some weights (can be seen clearly!) but still remains the same ol' Ira with guys chasing her around, Chubby has found her new crush (it's not uncommon!!) but end up like being expected (hey maybe it's not the end yet!) n lots more ppl that i never can get to describe them here..i really miss them a lot n i miss those times in KC..

my NANA, RAM, EZA, REEN, PAH, SUHANA, ASIE, DILA, JA, AKIH..u are the ones that light up my life..i dunno wut would my life be w/out u guys in it..i luv u all n really miss the times we spent together..may we be sisters forever..thru rains n shines..

slow-to-fast day...

a'kum..

i woke up quite late today (inilah padahnye stay up smpi pagi!) n minutes after that i was quite 'gelabah' when i heard Abah's engine outside..giler! Abah went to the hospital as he had infections in his ears n apparently he had a day off. Luckily i had the chance to tidy up some messes on the table n make things look 'touched'! Abah complaint of being so hungry (nearly hypoglycaemia!) at that moment n lucky me *again as there were still some sambal n boiled eggs for the nasi lemak that were cooked by Mak in the morning on the table (dunno wut would happen if they were not there because i found out there was nothing in the freezer that can be cooked at that moment)...pheW!

afternoon times went smoothly but in a very slow pace! i called Along n asked her if she's free to accompany me to midvalley but she was in the hospital at that moment having follow-up treatment for her illness (y is evryone seemed to be sick at this time?)..but she promised to go out with me after the treatment ends, that would only be after 4 o clock in the evening. so i spent my afternoon doing some chores while watching tv- spesific: channel 17 = repeated episodes of Akademi Fantasia..damn i'm so glued to this programme..i never felt bored no matter how many times i watched it. this is wut they call the success of the Jews to have the Muslims spending their times n money on MUSIC!(dah tau buat jugak...man i'm just an ordinary human who's early life has been greatly influenced by music..it might takes some times to make me throw away my bad influences)..

We (Abah, Mak, Along, Akib n i) decided to go to ioi mall puchong. Mak n Abah were included in the plan as Along was too lazy to send me home after finishes shopping (the plan was actually i spent the night in her place but last minute cancellation due to some problems). plus the fact that Mak also wanted to buy some stuff for herself. so we went there n did some shopping at jusco. as planned, i bought a pair of light brown shoes-a real comfy ones! + SALE!! and a pink blouse that i like soo much (this one Mak belanje rm20 but the rest--support sindri laaa). dunno why lately i'm kinda into pink stuff..my frens from high school would be screaming to know this!!haha it is just not me at all!!Mak liked this one handbag (Alain Delon's) and Along tapped me from behind and gave me the 'look' on her face that i knew the meaning sooo much!i gave her the money and she 'pretended' that she bought it for Mak (ikutkan hati nak pecah jek rahsia)..she promised to pay me back later when her gaji masuk..HOPEFULLY!!

the plan was to have dinner in A&W or Mc D but it was kinda late so Along suggested this one place in puchong that has a real good roti canai. before leaving i made that 'look on my face' and successfully provoked Mak to gimme some money to buy food from kenny rogers (i craved for this one since i got back home!!)..yeehuu..Akib got a ride on the merry-go-round (after seriously being annoying to all of us!) and he was amazingly cute on the horse ride! he really has grown up so fast! dah macam budak dajah satu badan yg semangat tuuu..

so we went to the place..haha i could see the look on Mak's face when she found out that the restaurant was owned by India-Muslim ppl--mamak style la..it was just plain Mak- she never eats outside without knowing the place well, moreover if the owner is not Malay or what-she's not being racism but being carefull i would say..she always questions bout the cleanliness of the food/place, the source of the meat esp the ones u have to slaughter, n of course the way ppl cook it..that's y we seldomly eat outside, evrything will be a home-made ones except in special occasions eg celebrating s'thing. boring jugak kadang2 tu!!KFC is never in her list and we always end up eating in mc d or AnW as those are the places that have fish fillet. to look on the brighter side, it's actually great the way she's particular on wut's going into her stomach but the dark thing is none of her child ever follow her steps..huhu.."mak ni outdated laaa" i say, but in my heart i'm always proud of her attitude on this one. yep it's true that we are wut we eat, n that's y none of us have the attitude like Mak's..hopefully one day i'll be like her..

it is already mornin..tomorrow's gonna be a long day for me!

"Ya Allah aku bersyukur atas nikmat Islam yang Kau kurniakan..amin"

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assalamualaikum w.b.t..

alhamdulillah it only costs me a few mins to set up this whole thing..wut do i say in my introduction essay huh??let's first put some hopes in it!!

1. i'm hoping that i can be a better me after having the thing to channel my ideas, thots, dreams that i never get to tell anyone before..

2. hope i can share with anyone out there, my experiences of the day-who knows someday they might get the benefits out of them..

3. i truely hope that i can improve my language out of this--pardon me if i make any mistakes, i'm learnin!

so much to say but there's no word to represent em..i actually have the hunch to be-a-blogger after reading my friends' ones...thot of how nice it is being able to express ur feelings w/out being critisized or kutuk'ed by ppl around u..it's not like i always experienced that but i just think that i express myself better in writings..(some ppl do!)..when i was a lil girl i used to write diaries n journals--with my prime objective was to improve my language, but sadly most of them end up being read by my big sis and at the end of the day (when the words are spread) i end up being their laughingstock and it was like forever to have them to erase the things from their minds!!haha wut's more funnier than reading a lil girl's feelings towards life around her--monkey love, hatred towards siblings, the my-parents-adopted-me thots and all silly things a child have in her life (plus in my broken english style!!)..but seriously i never took heart out of that..(i read theirs too!! ^_^ )..that are the things that put colors in ur life rite?hmm kinda miss my elder sis now- OLA..

it's already early morning..have to get some sleeps...*don't let the bed bug bite!- teringat Pah's BED BUG..yikes...