Of the morning prayers, nasi lemak & a cup of coffee..

Got a chance to wake up again today sipping the air on God's green earth.

Battlefield status: one down (Med&Surg), two more to go (Pathology&Microbiology)

Headed to my missilery and training haven (read: library), and there it was, the metallic blue X-Type Jaguar in front of my quarter. Awed by the front look. Retro.

Of the morning prayers, nasi lemak for breakfast and a small cup of milked coffee, I say Praise to Lord for His unconditional love...


Sunny spells on Doolin's land 2004

Morning everyone..

(Quote of the day: Dunia ibarat air laut, diminum hanya menambah haus)

feva

Exam, exam.

Don't know why but seems like the temperature keeps on rising around me. Demam kus kus? (nauzubilLah). The more I study the more I freak out the more I discover how stupid I was being all these while.

Need to work more and more and more.

Stomas, pleural effusion, pneumothorax, Mini Mental State Examination, hernias, surgical drains, mitral stenosis, rheumatoid hands, chest pain, stroke, gastrointestinal tract examination, hepatomegaly, chronic liver disease, aortic stenosis, thyrotoxicosis, vertigo, infective endocarditis, third heart sound, Corrigan's pulse, peripheral vascular disease, Glasgow Coma Scale, venous and arterial ulcers, diabetic foot, malar flush, nicotine staining, palmar erythema, Carpal Tunnel syndrome, Pemberton's sign, Trandelenburg's sign, Perthe's sign, upper motor neurone lesions, ileal conduit, the list goes on and on and on...

That's not even a quarter of the whole lot.



What do u do now??

Big breath in..
Smile..
Relax the tensing muscles..

Now that's my gurl!

Signalling from my new haven

I've became my last library person again, back like what I used to be. It felt odd in the beginning, the crowd is not the same a year/two years before, and I've changed my location from being the level one people to the ground level people. The same question I have in mind as with people who knows my current status, why library when I have the tranquility of a single room? Well, as a start I'd like to make it clear that my tranquille single room has turned to be a freezer room u find in a halal meat shop, only mine has bed and cupboard in it instead of meat and ribs. Being me, who's really sensitive to cold, I could only sit in the room on my chair holding a book not more than 10 minutes before the cold travels from my peripheries to my trunk and finally to my partially working brain. Secondly, I guess the time has come when I need the pressure of seeing people working, the nervewrecking adrenaline pumping feelings of ' oh-me-I-am-far-behind-than-everyone' that would (hopefully) motivate me to work on my studies. And believe me the latter does work! I was halfway to collapse when my heart couldn't stop pumping hard when I first settle down in the library seeing people around me working hard while lazy me goofing around everyday. OK the collapse part is a bit exaggerating I know. But yeah, I do hope with God's grace I could proceed on real well with my revisions.

Anyway I guess it's not too bad for a start, after few days the unfamiliar faces became familiar to me, good thing about staying in the library is u really connect with people u know here, and it's amazing how much they would tell u about their lives. All the unfavourable internal gossips, the holding grudge against God-knows whom, oh me. No worries, I'm good in keeping secrets. I think I could contain myself from getting too much connected with people, how about just sit down and ignore others? Rude? Oh well it's not gonna be for long. After the exam finishes and when it's sunny again I can kiss library goodbye for a while, welcome back room!

Jumping from the library issue, yesterday I was sitting quietly in my place when my mobile vibrated with an 'Id Withheld' on the screen. I quietly aswered the call and guess what it was mum on the phone. I was shocked to hear her and even more shocked when she started the conversation with "Assalamualaikum Adik,". Ek eleh salah dial rupanya, buat suspen je. "Acu rupanya, Mak ingat Adik," . Haha, Mak..Mak. She just swamped in these whole new technologies, it's just so funny and cute how she knows to use her mobile only for receiving calls and dialling numbers that are scribbled at a piece of paper she keeps in her purse, and how she freezes when there's a '1 message received' appeared on the screen of not knowing what to do next, and how she could stand the hassle of calling Ola in Johor to send me a text asking me whether I've received the parcel she sent me, and Ola would miss-called her back to make her call Ola back after I've texted Ola the answer she's looking for. And even cuter when she goes into this denial phrase of "Alaa Mak tau, Mak saja je tak nak belajar,". Haha. I remember one time when Naqib, my nephew cried after my mom couldn't played the 'Spiderman' vcd coz she didn't know where the 'open' button is on the vcd player remote control. And that was a few weeks before Naqib learns how to play the vcd himself without anyone teaching him, and that was about a month before the vcd player was broken by him.

There's just no chemistries between her and technologies, any yet she's the only my orthodox mum, the one I'll always love.


Mak and Naqib

:-)

Cats

I just happened to miss my non-existance cat, yes no more TOMATO my lovely cat. You rest in peace my love, thanks for all the good memories, you cheered my summer holidays with your cute face and adorable moves (though sometimes it got into our nerves trying to potty-train you). I'll remember you after my long dead black cat NIKO (what a silly name, I don't know how I ended up giving him the name, I was a kid). I don't know who's gonna be after TOMATO, but I'll sure get one male cat when I've settled down one fine day.

NIKO 1992-1995
TOMATO 2003-2005

This Eid

Tomorrow's eid and funny that I don't feel like doing anything about it. Made it clear from the very beginning that I don't plan to do anything like the last Syawal, thankful that I got a bunch of understanding housemates that share the same mutual relationship (mutual? I'm a more parasitic than mutual).

Got a rather shocking news one after another that just kill my mood, inilah dia hati yang berbolak-balik, one moment you're all laughing and in a matter of seconds you just jump to another extreme of sadness. Forgive me dear Allah, I'm more playful than I should be. There's people suffering from massive destructions, homeless, pennyless, alone and here I am sitting with comforts and all the eases in the world. I mourn each day for I cannot see my mother and how I miss her, and there's a friend of mine who cannot see and will not see her mum again, ever (19 Jan 05, Al-Fatihah, be strong dear friend). I'm not celebrating this eid with my mum, and it kills me to know that she'll never celebrate another eid with her mum ever again. Allah, I'm greedy and boastful, upon You I seek guidance, forgive me and forgive all Muslims in the world, save us from our adversaries; beyond or within.

(Mould my heart to be religion-aspired, Deter me from the wrong-doings)

EID MUBARAK PEEPS

Wednesday Blues

Julie was speaking so slowly, explaining every little question to the 78 years-old patient, extracting as much informations one needs to get from a patient. Oh my God, this can't be more slow, I know my brain has gone to a lagged phase, I tried to yawn to give more oxygen supply to my partially working brain. Well I cannnot fall asleep in front of a patient, that's intolerably rude.

So I tried to keep my brain occupied, thinking about what's going to be shown on telly tonite, oh well there's a midweek movie on RTE1 but I'd probably skip that, it'll be repeated again somewhere in this year. Is there anything on E4? Desperate Housewives maybe, but they'd probably repeat it for another few times by the end of this week. Oh yeah can't wait for lunch, I made a nice egg sandwich today, with no lettuce. Can't believe that the lettuce we bought last week has already finished in a period of a week, what are we, goat? No normal goat, sheep maybe, that eats lettuce, whoa that must be one healthy sheep with nice fluffy white wools. I think I'd prefer to be a black sheep with white wools, have U seen one? It's surprisingly cute. U could always find it in the outskirts of Dublin Wan, Dublin Wan?

WAN! WAN!!

Ow yes yes sorry Julie I didn't hear U called.

She asked whether I wanted to ask anything more to the patient, did she missed anything relevant. I didn't want to look disrespecting, so I said, No Julie I think U've covered everything. Good job. She smiled, and turned to the patient.

Then started talking to the patient again, Mr. Smith (bukan nama sebenar) I think I've finished everything now. But one more thing, can U tell us what exactly happened when U collapsed at that time?

I choked, she didn't asked about that just now? Then Mr. Smith started to say,

Well it happened like this....

And that's when I think I started to hear birds chirping in my head, with nice background song of Summer Dream, wait I vaguely could see John Travolta and Olivia Newton singing and happily dancing along with the song.

Moral: Take a break in the middle of the week to rejuvenate your mind and body, you are no walking machine.

Winter 2004

Talking about writing everyday huh, my ow my, what happened to me and my holidays. Cut short, let me go straight to my every point

MY SO-CALLED HEALTHY PROGRAMME
I started very good with my restriction on rice and eating only brown bread. I went to play bball once and then got stucked on my newly treasured sport, squash. I never knew squash would be so much fun than tennis, I'd be the next Nicole Davids if I knew this earlier. Yeah rite. Seriously, I was a serious dumbbell when I started playing tennis, and I guess even till now I never really master the sport. But in squash, it only took me a day to learn the rules and skills one got to have, and voila, I'm pretty good in it (well if it's not myself, who'd praise me afterall). Anyway, on the second day I played squash, I went back catwalking all 45 minutes way back home, when it'll only take 15 minutes on the usual day. There were blisters on the medial sides of my feet, thanks to my not so intelligent move of wearing loose climbing shoes instead of my proper sport shoes on doing vigorous exercise. That was definitely a turn-off for my exercise programme, and the pitfall for my healthy diet started when PUISI '04 commenced. It was the barakah of eating in a tray that made one really really enjoys the presence of food I guess, and it continues on till now. What a disaster for me, I must stop eating. Ruined me.

PUISI '04
It was held in Glendalough, about an hour from the heart of Dublin I presumed. To make an evaluation of every aspect is impossible, but by far this was the best winter gathering in the past 3 ones I've attended in Dublin. Pengisian-wise, I gave full marks on that, rather bizarre to know I never realized how empty I was inside till I had someone to knock me on the head reminding me to feed my empty soul. All 3 penceramah were from Univ of Aberdeen doing masters programme, and all are fairly young for the usual age one finds an ustaz. They were all great penceramah, the fact that they are young make them 'closer' to the hearts of the participants I guess, so all things said were absorbed fairly well.


Breathtaking isn't it? (Subhanallah). Come to Dublin and I'll bring U here (promote Dublin)

Parallel to the activities, this year’s winter gathering was when I treasured friendship. My high-schoolmate cum partner in crime, Yah came from Sheffield and that was the first time I met her since SPM results came out. What could I say, all memories splattered back and we were all giggling reminiscing the good times we had back then. Yah was one of those closest to me, it started when she was thrown in Block C that was dominated by the Sapphire house members. She was the dorm leader of the room next to mine and also my duty partner who always ended up being my company to the toilet or anywhere I went when we were on duties in the hostel areas (I was a real coward back then, hey I’ve improved now OK). We always ended up in the same duty group that made us became permanent duty partners even when others had changed theirs, yeah she was cursed to be my partner I guess. Hehe. Anyway, Yah had to go back to Sheffield in the middle of the programme, leaving me and my memories alone in Glendalough.

Mek Yah, how could I forget the time when we had to sing ‘Sukiyaki’ during our sea trip (KLD Tunas Samudera), the fishes in the sea must’ve had a hard time coping on to our lovely voices. Next time mung datang Dublin dok kabo aku dulu siap mung. Dusyumm..


Blue-tagged people of PUISI'04

CHRISTMAS & BOXING DAY
After PUISI ended, we accommodated few guests from Southampton and Belfast for lunch and dinner, just as courtesy for friends and guests who’ve come all the way to attend our PUISI. Seronok jumpa orang. Anyway, it was snowy on Christmas day but it didn’t last that long. Each year there’s always a day or two when thin snow would fall and being in the third year, I was less excited than my juniors in the house. Kasik can la, I’ve been there. On that day, we only stayed at home in the cold conserving energy as much as we could while watching back to back friends from noon till near midnight, by then I was euphoric of my laughs-turned-to-just-grins. 27th was the day, the awaited boxing day. My friends from Galway came to Dublin for the day and spent the night in my place. I don’t know what happened but I was out of control for my own purse, at the end of the day, it was me who spent the most when I should only be the guide person for my friends from Galway who actually spent much lesser than me. Hehe, typical I say. Ironically, I didn’t even feel guilty about it, I deserve that for all my hardworks I guess (well even if I don’t, I really really need to shop those stuff in one go as I might not have time to do it bit by bit later, exam restriction). After all, it’s my form of self-indulgence for the exam, before and the one coming, and what’s done is done, I’m totally satisfied about it. \(^_*)/


Snow yang turun suam-suam kuku on Christmas Day at our backyard. Sapa nampak snow dalam gambar ni aku bagi seposen.

PMS COVENTRY
Well well, I had this strong reluctant feeling of going at first, a change is really hard to initiate. One day before going I was still unsure whether I should go or not, even after I was done packing my stuff. What could I do, I’ve already bought the ticket. So I gather all my strength, reroute my niat in the heart, lilLahita’ala, and by the time I realized about it I was already on my way to Birmingham. All the worries and queasy feelings disappeared by the warmth welcome I got from the people in Coventry. I travelled with a friend who was in the committee of the gathering so I reached the place a day earlier than the actual starting day. That made me unofficially a helper in the run of the programme. I got my ample time to know most of the senior sisters that came from all over UK, with their families and cute children. To know them was one inspirational experience, u never could imagine how this group of Muslim professionals dedicate their time and efforts in order to perform da’awah to others. One odd thing was, they all looked familiar to me, seriously. One day I told one of the senior sisters over there about this and she said back to me “Dah tertulis nak berjumpa, itu yang rasa dekat dlm hati kot,”. True.

Anyway, the speakers were mind blowing, it was actually them that made me decided to attend this gathering at the first place. All three are famous figures in the UK, Dr. Kamal Helbawy, Sister Elizabeth Penny/ Sister Eeman and my favourite Dr. Azzam Tamimi. Their talks were truly an eye-opener for the ignorant me, especially Dr. Tamimi, a Palestinian born who’s currently living in the UK. Other than that, I enjoyed all forums being held, especially the forum amongst the sisters only. Oh anyway, I’ll be getting the video recording of the 3 talks given by the invited speakers in a CD, anyone interested in viewing? Trust me, U won’t regret it.

Another thing I really love about this gathering was the children, man they are one fine next generations I’d say. I was attached to this 5-years-old daughter of one of the seniors, she made me a book using a folded A4 paper and wrote a story in it and keep it in my coat pocket. Each time she saw me she’ll be reaching into my pocket to make sure I keep the piece of paper in it. Last thing she said before she got into the car on the last day was “ Make sure U keep the book in your pocket OK Kakak Shu. I’ll be seeing U again when U come to Coventry.” Oh I miss that kid.


Uswah (brown dress) and me.

I went back to Dublin with a heavy heart, of the memories I got from Coventry, and of the fact that school started in the next few days and I was not even ready for that. But honestly, most of it was from the former.

There they were, the stories of my not-co-called holidays. I enjoyed most events I had, and I’m looking forward for the coming events in the next academic year, inshaAllah. As for now, I have my Medicine& Surgery exam on this coming 29th which mark the starting of my Second Professional Examinations. I’m going to face it, ready or not, so I better start from now. So from now pardon me if I give lack attentions to you blog, U know I still love U. Hehe. Wish me all the luck in the world, may the force be with me.

oopsie!

What happened to me and my holidays. I'll be writing about it later, for today I've a lot of things to settle before the classes begin on Wednesday.

Still in the mode of winter retreat in Coventry, ukhuwwah itu indah bila bertemu dan berpisah kerana Allah. So true. I could never forget every beautiful moment I spent over there.

"Istikamah ye Shu." Few last words from cik Ina when I bid my farewell to her (I was fighting back tears for there were Ustazah and cik Yah over there, malunya). Truely inspirational person. I miss my mom!

Off me go.