a matter of the heart

I have 'flutters' lately.



Please cardiovert me.

urat is nerve in English (is it?)

My cousin's teenage son was involved in a motorbike accident sometimes last year. He was injured quite badly and stayed in the ICU for quite sometimes. Thank to God he fought his way out of the unit and even the hospital. With residual paresis of the legs of course. Also intermittent spasms. Apparently we noticed there was something different about him after the whole incident, other than the injuries he suffered from.

My cousin clarified, "Rasanya dia dah terputus 'urat malu' jugak from accident tu." (urat malu? apakah?) Yes we noticed that the typical shy growing teenager he was once before has gone, he is now a very chatty gentleman and 'flirtatious' in many ways. One time they realized there were 5 young female physiotherapists voluntarily involving themselves in handling his routine physiotherapy session in the hospital. I mean, five?



Bertuah punya budak..

An issue about mixed marriage was brought up over ice cream and coffee yesterday upon seeing some gorgeous irish-chinese mixed kids. I hinted mum today and at the end of the conversations I got the impression that she has cool down a bit about this whole restrictions on 'no Malay, no entry' thing. Ha ha. My mind's racing now, it's so unfortunate OLLH has very poor prospects for candidates. Damn, wish I was in BH. Hahahaa..

Janganlah urat malu ku pulak yang terputus..erk..

don't cry over a drowned mobile phone..

As I watched my approaching 2 weeks old spanking new mobile phone, helplessly, drowning in the clear toilet bowl water while he struggled to vibrate when there was an incoming call at the same time... Poor baby. And the condolences started pouring in. Miss you, I will.

Women are funny creatures. We have impulses. Ever seen a depressed woman go shopping? Is it the hormonal drives or the extra X gene, God knows. It tends to get worse at one specific period of the month; when we have a plateau pattern of the surge; we have the ability to spot a single strand of hair dropped onto the floor and clear 'em immediately, we clean like mad, we binge on simple carbohydrates, we shop, yes we do, and we have ridiculous impulses that put a threat onto the wallet! Isn't the world a more interesting place with us in it?

I am evolving if not growing. The process is slow winding but surely ongoing. I am now doing things I don't think I'd be able to do before. Like climbing up to the 5th floor wards on a 2 inches heels. (And die right after). And listening to dance music. (What?). And have crazy impulses. And having the ability to swallow the bitter truth of making decision and its future consequences. I took antacids to suppress the acids don't worry.

My old boss the respiratory physician taught me that what's limiting a person with diseased lungs during exercise is the shortness of breaths, and what's stopping you and me with healthy pair of lungs is muscle fatigues. If that's true, am sure it is, I think I need to develop some other ways of muscle ventilations coz apparently my x kg bulk of muscles tend to go lactic and fatigue very rapidly on exercising, on my healthy pair of lungs! Maybe reconstruction surgery for a pair of gills on the sides just below the armpits will do. (And later a big fin on the back). Please watch South Park for this episode if you haven't. Freaking funny.

I see an island. And warm breeze. And familiar voices..




Kelly Clarkson rock ass..

from the Far East, please

One of the things I enjoy most at work is when having those little chats with the patients while doing cannulas, bloods, etc. It is usually a very quick chat about the crazy weather of the day, the things Irish I heard over the radio, the reasons the patient's in the hospital, etc. Most of them would end up asking me, "So tell me doctor where are you from?". Understandable, coz Irish is a known friendly tribe, and also coz I 'stand out' from the rest being brown and hijab-ed.

So my usual answer would be, "Where do you think?". With a smile.

Most of them will say, "I actually don't know." So I replied, "Just guess."

So my collection of very weird answers are as below.

1. France
2. Mexican
3. Kuwait
4. Emirates
5. Iraq
6. Philippines

No Malaysia, of note. And France?

One time I was talking to a patient who was lying flat on the bed. So I ended up talking above her head. I asked her few questions on a quick history for an admission, and suddenly she stopped talking and smiled. Then she said, "Doctor, you have a very beautiful set of teeth..", out of the blue..

I went to the sink straight after to gargle some water, just in case there was any chili or salads stuck in between my teeth.

Patients, they can be very cute sometimes.

it is indeed February..

Halu peeps, how are we doin' these days?

I realized that we've only just gone into the second month of the year. Oh God time flew so slowly in OLLH it is slicing and dicing me up bits by bits. In BH 6 months went in a blink.

Yep nothing has changed since I was last here, I still hate OLLH and I think it has in fact surfaced till the base of the iceberg. The whole lot of us new batch of interns were contemplating at which level of Kubler-Ross's stages of grief are we in at the moment. My friend who was at the worst receiving end of the dysfunctional system said she finally has gone to the final stage of acceptance, after a full course of denial, anger, bargaining and depression. She has actually gone seeking a psychotherapist help starting last week. I ain't kidding you.

For myself, I think I'm still at the immature stage of denial. Hence the reason I made a few pit stops to BH on the way home from work at least once in a week. Feels more belonged there. I don't know. I dread every Monday, and Friday is THE highlight on every start of the week. Yep so pathetic. I don't enjoy my job as much as I used to anymore.

So to compensate I started focusing on the side stuff. Research has been going on well, thank to God the Almighty. I managed to finish writing my first ever abstract as a first author, and 3 more abstracts for joined authors. *Pat on the shoulder*. I realized how much I love medicine and seeking and revealing new findings in the interesting world of medicine. Oh geek! Whatever..

So peeps, you will see me at the break of dawn tomorrow walking in the cold morning with a big smile plastered on my face. Coz the highlight of the week is here, FINALLY!

Cheeeeerios!