le jar of chocolat, le sigh.
. "MMmm?"
"K.Shu. Nah."
"Ow, nooo!"
"Nak amik kan sudu?" Grinned.
"Hmmpth."
Sinfully tempting.
Le sigh.
Monday, April 17, 2006
. "MMmm?"
"K.Shu. Nah."
"Ow, nooo!"
"Nak amik kan sudu?" Grinned.
"Hmmpth."
Sinfully tempting.
Le sigh.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
speaking of passions..
Today I am officially done attending hospitals for this academic year. Can you believe that? Neither can I.
I started doing Psychiatry first during Ramadhan, that was truly 6 weeks of relaxations. It was not so bad, I learnt more from attending the tutorials, not so much from the hospital. St Ita's Hospital is so far away, the travelling was painful but the feelings of stepping into an ancient mental hospital was priceless. The creepiness of walking on a long cold corridor with a female voice singing at the end of it, and you'd just can't wait to reach the end to see if there's an actual people singing, or was it just your mind playing u; well in truth there was actually this makcik tua singing there. He he. My chosen unforgettable moment happened when we talked to a patient with chronic schizophrenia and he started laughing out of the blue and looked at me then said, "The voice just told me U look like someone we know, he hee heee it's funny." And it's even funnier when later Yanie told me that he was actually unmedicated and the psych nurse gave her an alarm device to use just in case the patient became out of control. Like the alarm could give us total protection if he suddenly ran amok and severed us with his long nails. Geez, don't they practise preventive medicine anymore? Nonetheless, it was a good experience, scary good though.
Next in line was Medicine & Surgery in Our Lady's Hospital Navan. I treasured every single moment spent there I just don't know where to begin the story. The whole 6 weeks opened me up to become more and more passionate in what I'm doing. I know now I'm on the right track. Alhamdulillah.
Then I had ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) which I think I enjoyed to a point of considering doing it. One, because throughout the 2 weeks I have dealt with really cool and groovy doctors which made me think, "Wow, ENT must be really something!" Secondly, I dunno somehow the 3 main orifices caught my attentions coz I think they're pretty easy and straight forward. Or I could just be on the surface level that I thought it was easy. Either way, it's definitely somewhere down the list.
Ophthalmology came next. Again I love love love this specialty coz it's centered to a single pair of organs only. I can still remember the pure gratifications of seeing a real optic disc in one of my friend's eyes, after days and days of figuring how does it look like in real person. From that point the day was colourful and there was rainbows and butterflies on the sky. He he, that happy.
A lesser rotation would be G.P (General Practise/Family Medicine). I haven't always been keen on this part of medicine since before, maybe due to some bad experiences from some G.Ps in Malaysia; from both government and private practises, who's in general barely make any eye contacts with the patients who came in their surgeries/clinics. In fairness, I just expect myself to be more aggressive in my field but who knows one day I could possibly settle down with my own private practise. Only time will tell.
And here I am now, on the very last day of my Obstetrics & Gynaecology rotation. From the whole 8 weeks experience of it, I can say that it is indeed a different specialty on its own that needs a lot of patience and perseverence to assimilate. I am at most influenced by the the consultants, especially the female ones. They're so passionate with their jobs, and on the plus side, they are so pretty, exuberant yet soft-spoken and my gawd their diamond rings and stylish cars (jaw dropped), ha ha kidding. Other than my own passion for medicine hence the obligation to serve that comes with that, my other greater pull factor in medical world has always been the great teachers, the bunch of doctors that teach students with their highest zeal and enthusiasms. Some of them are not just sincere, they're also pure candy to the eyes too. (I know you're looking at me with your most sarcastic face, don't see the link there. He he). Don't get me started on the two richard-gere-look-alikes and the-one-with-a-pair-of-very-blue-eyes. OK I shall stop there.
So any hopes on Obs & Gynae? Probably. But for now my heart has been stolen by the little kiddies.
I can't really tell now. There's always the plan down the road but Allah's plan is indeed the best. So I shall do my best, and He will in turn decide what's better for me.
I started doing Psychiatry first during Ramadhan, that was truly 6 weeks of relaxations. It was not so bad, I learnt more from attending the tutorials, not so much from the hospital. St Ita's Hospital is so far away, the travelling was painful but the feelings of stepping into an ancient mental hospital was priceless. The creepiness of walking on a long cold corridor with a female voice singing at the end of it, and you'd just can't wait to reach the end to see if there's an actual people singing, or was it just your mind playing u; well in truth there was actually this makcik tua singing there. He he. My chosen unforgettable moment happened when we talked to a patient with chronic schizophrenia and he started laughing out of the blue and looked at me then said, "The voice just told me U look like someone we know, he hee heee it's funny." And it's even funnier when later Yanie told me that he was actually unmedicated and the psych nurse gave her an alarm device to use just in case the patient became out of control. Like the alarm could give us total protection if he suddenly ran amok and severed us with his long nails. Geez, don't they practise preventive medicine anymore? Nonetheless, it was a good experience, scary good though.
Next in line was Medicine & Surgery in Our Lady's Hospital Navan. I treasured every single moment spent there I just don't know where to begin the story. The whole 6 weeks opened me up to become more and more passionate in what I'm doing. I know now I'm on the right track. Alhamdulillah.
Then I had ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) which I think I enjoyed to a point of considering doing it. One, because throughout the 2 weeks I have dealt with really cool and groovy doctors which made me think, "Wow, ENT must be really something!" Secondly, I dunno somehow the 3 main orifices caught my attentions coz I think they're pretty easy and straight forward. Or I could just be on the surface level that I thought it was easy. Either way, it's definitely somewhere down the list.
Ophthalmology came next. Again I love love love this specialty coz it's centered to a single pair of organs only. I can still remember the pure gratifications of seeing a real optic disc in one of my friend's eyes, after days and days of figuring how does it look like in real person. From that point the day was colourful and there was rainbows and butterflies on the sky. He he, that happy.
A lesser rotation would be G.P (General Practise/Family Medicine). I haven't always been keen on this part of medicine since before, maybe due to some bad experiences from some G.Ps in Malaysia; from both government and private practises, who's in general barely make any eye contacts with the patients who came in their surgeries/clinics. In fairness, I just expect myself to be more aggressive in my field but who knows one day I could possibly settle down with my own private practise. Only time will tell.
And here I am now, on the very last day of my Obstetrics & Gynaecology rotation. From the whole 8 weeks experience of it, I can say that it is indeed a different specialty on its own that needs a lot of patience and perseverence to assimilate. I am at most influenced by the the consultants, especially the female ones. They're so passionate with their jobs, and on the plus side, they are so pretty, exuberant yet soft-spoken and my gawd their diamond rings and stylish cars (jaw dropped), ha ha kidding. Other than my own passion for medicine hence the obligation to serve that comes with that, my other greater pull factor in medical world has always been the great teachers, the bunch of doctors that teach students with their highest zeal and enthusiasms. Some of them are not just sincere, they're also pure candy to the eyes too. (I know you're looking at me with your most sarcastic face, don't see the link there. He he). Don't get me started on the two richard-gere-look-alikes and the-one-with-a-pair-of-very-blue-eyes. OK I shall stop there.
So any hopes on Obs & Gynae? Probably. But for now my heart has been stolen by the little kiddies.
I can't really tell now. There's always the plan down the road but Allah's plan is indeed the best. So I shall do my best, and He will in turn decide what's better for me.
Right, let's finish the exams first.
And I still can't believe I'm through my hospitals' days.
Until the next academic year, I'll definitely miss the hospitals. Yer rite. Sigh.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The Nerd Medical School Scale
Anyway, just a side-dish for tonight. Might help to ease the mounting tense.
This test was published in IMAMUKEIRE's annual magz, The Beat. I copied it from the cyberspace anyway.
The following scale has been developed in close cooperation with the UVA psychiatry services. It is designed to test if you have spent too much time in medical school and whether you are having adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure. Score one point for each statement that applies to you.
1 You have ever said "Netter is god" (Duh, never)
2 You can discuss autopsy/anatomy over a meal (Not a problem)
3 You own a 4 color pen (Yes a QUADRUPEN I call it, it costs a freaking EUR1.50 in Reads)
4 It just isn't enough colors for you (Not really)
5 You use more than one color to take notes (Definitely)
6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months (Hehe yep, just another obsession)
7 You have ever highlighted something YOU wrote (I do)
8 You retype handouts given in class (Not really)
9 You haven't had a date in 3 months (This is case sensitive)
10 You haven't had a date since entering med school (Do I have to re-emphasize, I don't do dates)
11 You have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn) (Sometimes)
12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home (Not really, nerd I know)
13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus (Yep)
14 You also know what it means (Yeah, itching)
15 You have ever asked a question in class (Depends on the mood)
16 The prof didn't understand the question
17 You didn't believe the answer the prof. gave
18 You went to look it up to see if they were right (All 16, 17, 18, yes)
19 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med school (Oh no)
20 You skip class to study (He he yep)
21 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean (Aku seorang yg berpijak di bumi yg nyata..he he)
22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail (I have 3 email accounts with more than 10 group emails, whaddaya expect?)
23 You have a callous on you finger from writing (Duh, this gonna cost me my duit hantaran, yes)
24 More than one professor knows you by name (Well we only own one prof in The Coombe, he's my mentor)
25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've heard of you" (Tipu aa ni)
26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents (I can't do either)
27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking (He he u tell me, I love acronyms I wanna marry them)
28 You actually know what PERRLA stands for (and I always thot it's PERLA all these while)
29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle (Not a biochem junkie, I hate biochem. Nuff said)
30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association (am not that nerd)
31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm (Anatomy was my first love)
32 You know the strucures in the urea cycle (Biochem, duh!)
33 You know the dermatome distribution (Yes yes, face shining with joy)
34 You can't remember what you had for breakfast (I always do)
35 You can't spell world, much less backwards (I can)
36 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray (Not a pervert!)
37 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rheumatoid Arthritis (What else? Hati suci..)
38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na (The normal value is on the sheet, why bother remembering?)
39 Missing class causes you extreme stress (Mild stress that is)
40 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?" (Tak bleh ke?)
41 You have asked will this be on the exam (Yes)
42 Just after the prof. said it wouldn't (Ha ha double yes)
43 You identify with Deb on E.R.
44 You have made a medical joke (I always do)
45 No one laughed (They gave me a weird look)
46 You figure they just weren't that far in their studying (I'm not boasting)
47 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus (I don't)
48 You don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears (It should be pointed forward)
49 "SOB" means short of breath to you (What else?)
50 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied (Ha ha so true)
51 Within 3 days of the lecture (I think I saw mental people on the roads thruout the 6 weeks of psychiatry rotations)
There's more from the website. This has seriously cost me my time.
I am officially a nerd.
And I don't mind that.
Which makes me double nerd.
This test was published in IMAMUKEIRE's annual magz, The Beat. I copied it from the cyberspace anyway.
The following scale has been developed in close cooperation with the UVA psychiatry services. It is designed to test if you have spent too much time in medical school and whether you are having adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure. Score one point for each statement that applies to you.
1 You have ever said "Netter is god" (Duh, never)
2 You can discuss autopsy/anatomy over a meal (Not a problem)
3 You own a 4 color pen (Yes a QUADRUPEN I call it, it costs a freaking EUR1.50 in Reads)
4 It just isn't enough colors for you (Not really)
5 You use more than one color to take notes (Definitely)
6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months (Hehe yep, just another obsession)
7 You have ever highlighted something YOU wrote (I do)
8 You retype handouts given in class (Not really)
9 You haven't had a date in 3 months (This is case sensitive)
10 You haven't had a date since entering med school (Do I have to re-emphasize, I don't do dates)
11 You have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (ie reflux for heartburn) (Sometimes)
12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home (Not really, nerd I know)
13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus (Yep)
14 You also know what it means (Yeah, itching)
15 You have ever asked a question in class (Depends on the mood)
16 The prof didn't understand the question
17 You didn't believe the answer the prof. gave
18 You went to look it up to see if they were right (All 16, 17, 18, yes)
19 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med school (Oh no)
20 You skip class to study (He he yep)
21 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean (Aku seorang yg berpijak di bumi yg nyata..he he)
22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail (I have 3 email accounts with more than 10 group emails, whaddaya expect?)
23 You have a callous on you finger from writing (Duh, this gonna cost me my duit hantaran, yes)
24 More than one professor knows you by name (Well we only own one prof in The Coombe, he's my mentor)
25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've heard of you" (Tipu aa ni)
26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents (I can't do either)
27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking (He he u tell me, I love acronyms I wanna marry them)
28 You actually know what PERRLA stands for (and I always thot it's PERLA all these while)
29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle (Not a biochem junkie, I hate biochem. Nuff said)
30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association (am not that nerd)
31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm (Anatomy was my first love)
32 You know the strucures in the urea cycle (Biochem, duh!)
33 You know the dermatome distribution (Yes yes, face shining with joy)
34 You can't remember what you had for breakfast (I always do)
35 You can't spell world, much less backwards (I can)
36 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an X ray (Not a pervert!)
37 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rheumatoid Arthritis (What else? Hati suci..)
38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na (The normal value is on the sheet, why bother remembering?)
39 Missing class causes you extreme stress (Mild stress that is)
40 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?" (Tak bleh ke?)
41 You have asked will this be on the exam (Yes)
42 Just after the prof. said it wouldn't (Ha ha double yes)
43 You identify with Deb on E.R.
44 You have made a medical joke (I always do)
45 No one laughed (They gave me a weird look)
46 You figure they just weren't that far in their studying (I'm not boasting)
47 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus (I don't)
48 You don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears (It should be pointed forward)
49 "SOB" means short of breath to you (What else?)
50 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied (Ha ha so true)
51 Within 3 days of the lecture (I think I saw mental people on the roads thruout the 6 weeks of psychiatry rotations)
There's more from the website. This has seriously cost me my time.
I am officially a nerd.
And I don't mind that.
Which makes me double nerd.
midnight rambles
I just can't wait for the exam to be over, not the final exam of course, it's the end of the rotation exam which carries 30% of final Obs & Gynae and also final for Neonatology. I'll be sitting for the final 4 subjects in June. Geez, let's not talk about that now.
Current issues; I know I have been sharing some serious thoughts on the world/religion issues, I might scare some of you away (as if I got that many readers). Nonetheless, I'm still me, trying to stick my lost pieces together to become a better Muslimah. I don't know how long will I live, and I don't want to die having bits/pieces of jahiliyyah in me, which I still do. I'm so shamefully weak. Oh it's so scary to think of what future holds for me.
And it's spring already, as I once said, "When the days long and nights short, when I don't know what to wear coz it's hot and sunny at times, and rainy later, and when yellow daffodils bloom." Though this year the spring joy has not been equally felt in me, as I kept on getting spiculing headaches from the bright yellow sunlights. My pair of eyes are overused and old, oh just another signs of aging.
Current issues; I know I have been sharing some serious thoughts on the world/religion issues, I might scare some of you away (as if I got that many readers). Nonetheless, I'm still me, trying to stick my lost pieces together to become a better Muslimah. I don't know how long will I live, and I don't want to die having bits/pieces of jahiliyyah in me, which I still do. I'm so shamefully weak. Oh it's so scary to think of what future holds for me.
And it's spring already, as I once said, "When the days long and nights short, when I don't know what to wear coz it's hot and sunny at times, and rainy later, and when yellow daffodils bloom." Though this year the spring joy has not been equally felt in me, as I kept on getting spiculing headaches from the bright yellow sunlights. My pair of eyes are overused and old, oh just another signs of aging.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
the day she crossed her fingers
One day we used to engage ourselves in a very serious conversations digging our opinions on the shariah laws, hudud laws, and all these internationally opiniated matters. We found some common grounds from my strict Catholic friend who's level of faith and virtues are quite high; I thank her parents who sent her to a Catholic boarding school ran by bunch of nuns, she gave me some hopes when I thought the world has become a lesser place to live in, at least this part of the world has. On the contrary, my partner begged to differ from what we've said. "Well I think both ways suck, you know man-made rules always have flaws." "Yes they are, that's why we always make the laws from what has been outlined from our Book." "Oh your Book or whoever Book's it is, it's still the same, they're all written by men." Well, that was where we came about to our fork junction. She has been, by far, the most diligent atheist I've ever dealt with.
But sometimes, even a devout atheist succumbs to the hands of God in his/her most desperate moment. Today she fell in a trap of her own. You know everyone has his/her own bad-hair-day, but what happened today was worst. She cried, if I were her I'd cry too. The defining moment was about to come when I saw her sitting quietly on her chair with her both fingers crossed, she was praying. Then suddenly came the secretary and straigtened everything out. She was off the hook, saved by the Power she has relied on to help her. Even maybe for just once in her lifetime, she had believed in another Power that's controlling what's unreachable by normal being.
It was indeed historic, on the day she crossed her fingers.
But sometimes, even a devout atheist succumbs to the hands of God in his/her most desperate moment. Today she fell in a trap of her own. You know everyone has his/her own bad-hair-day, but what happened today was worst. She cried, if I were her I'd cry too. The defining moment was about to come when I saw her sitting quietly on her chair with her both fingers crossed, she was praying. Then suddenly came the secretary and straigtened everything out. She was off the hook, saved by the Power she has relied on to help her. Even maybe for just once in her lifetime, she had believed in another Power that's controlling what's unreachable by normal being.
It was indeed historic, on the day she crossed her fingers.
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