back to singleton

How are you peeps?

My mum left Dublin on Saturday. I was devastated (as usual - I can't handle goodbyes). Woke up Sunday feeling cold and empty. Man how good it is when she was around. No more coffee and b'fast on the table in the morning, nor ironed clothes and nice dinner to go home to. I'll survive don't worry.

The kind of food I'm missing. Popiah basah with her signature home made kulit popiah. Music on the togue..

I was talking to friends on Saturday. I said I'm worried that I'm a bit de-sensatized now, or at least I thought I am. I used to be very fragile, depended on people most of the times (especially Yanie when she was around). I never travelled alone because of my bad orientation. As friends left Dublin one by one, I think I've adopted my survival instinct. It's not bad in a way, it is the most natural to do. But as a result I'm also trained to be hard inside to survive. Like making a straight face when something bad happen. There's good and bad. But not when you lose the sensitivities. Oh well, tough life.

So these days everyday is like Pakcik Hussein's Song.

I suppose I should look at things in optimisms. I'm grateful to have this life. I love my job (or the kids and people involved in my job). Life after work is mundane enough, but it is temporary (hopefully). I have my goals in life and I will work for it. Allah help me please.

That was Lisa, one of my chronic patients who has been in and out a lot with exacerbation of her disease since I started with the team. She came to me one night when I was on call on the ward and spent the time chatting with me. She's matured before her age; with her chronic lung disease, and recent death of her mum. "At least mammy's not in pain anymore. But no one combs my hair like she did." So the team makes sure that the staff nurse combs her hair nicely every morning. She's an angel.

Cheerios, life's too short to be sulked at.