gloom @_@ gloomy day @_@

Venue: Beaumont Library
Time: 1415 hrs
Weather: Gloomy!
Mood: Gloomier

I am so much influenced by the weather of the day! today i only have one lecture on Patient Centred Communication and no for others..after dat i went to do my Mini-OSCE and that was it for the day, left me in this place with no mood to study but nothing else to be doing. think i've been checking emails every 15 minutes since i got into the library..sumone..i need emails..gosh i have obsessive-compulsive disorder!

i should be playing tennis with my frens this evening at the Trinity College again, but it was cancelled as the courts are fully booked..penat bawak suar trek extra penuh beg tu. today my Arab frens are opening their stalls (UAE and Kuwait, maybe Bahrain and Jordan also) and they invited us over to their stalls, inshaALLAh i'd probably go, who knows i might meet my greenbutton again today (after several days not seeing one). n i miss their desserts too, last year after tasting one i couldn't stop thinking of other desserts better than theirs. there's an international gourmet nite on saturday nite, i'm cooking sumthing (not gonna tell it here, u have to come if u wanna know)..can't wait to eat hell loads of malaysian food..i've asked my chinese n indian frens to buy halal chicken or beef to cook so i can eat their cookings..hehe..uhh i'm gonna gain some extra lbs for this saturday's occasion! hope for sumone to cook sushi, and can't wait to eat beriyani from Arab's stall, and Azni's satay (yeyey finally...ckp kat Azni nak 5 cucuk tapi cam tak dapek je..)..n today i missed eating kueh koci pulut hitam so much..the kind of craving like the one i had with Mak's Nasik Lemak Sambal Bilis and Sayur Kangkung..(i cried so hard on that one..left Mak to be so serba salah..haha..lawok lawok bile ingat balik..Mak ckp- nanti mak pos sayur kangkung eh? :p)

panggilan solat zuhur..bleep bleep

~nak koci pulut itam!!!

too much is so much

today went really well, unexpectedly (thanks Allah!)..i've been thinking bout many things over the weekend and realized that i really had too much of things lately

..too much of playing..

err correction: less studying and too much of playing..i've bought a basketball (rubber, not standard size, 10euro) and that distracts me so much..whenever i finished my class early, i met with friends at the college and started playing..i really enjoyed it but it really consumed my times (when u start playing, u hardly can stop!)..it was my idea at the first place, i was so numbed with my typical med student life and i wanna have that colors in life again, like in school, down at court playing in the evening or on the field hitting targets acting like a she-robin hood :p but then, the comfort of this kind of freedom left the studies behind i guess..yep i also played tennis down at the Trinity College last Saturday (my college is so small even the bball court is not in the standard measure! what more of a tennis court, or a couple!) been leaving tennis for God-knows how many years, i had a wonderful time playing in the hot weekend sun (thanks Him for the lovely sunny day, at last, in Dublin- my face is a bit sunburnt i think haha)..this left me of so little revisions done over the weekend!

all work and no play make Jack a dull boy..but too much play and less work make him a stupid boy! (my quote--no heart feelings to any Jack out there :p)

..too much of TV..

oh God this is my real problem now..it's like a real strong magnetic field that i can't barely get out of it..too much of drama series that i've been following since the start of them and now i couldn't get myself to not to be involved with them till the end (ya Allah what a stupid explaination!)..and blame all the producers for putting all the cute leading guys in the series, i couldn't stop drooling over them now..haha..better than drooling over real men out in the streets i guess..yeah one sub-sub heading of this sub-heading---- too much of cute guys..it has gotten me to realize how the westerns are really creating an environment of SUPERFICIALS..you must be looking good if u wanna be out there..u must wear the latest designs to be on top of everyone..watching the programme they put on MTV-I wanna have the celeb. look..man people are going way way too much just to look like Brad Pitt or Britney..and plastic surgeons are making all the profits, acting God as if they can..do they ever think that changing their looks would never change the genetic compartments that make up that looks? wut a fool, no way they can escape when realizing that children of theirs have that big crooked nose or ears that really protruded out or wutever things that they deny of, in one fine day..ppl still know, u can run but u can't hide from Allah's creations..

..too much of drifting away from Him..

i realized that i spent less time 'talking' to Him lately..i've lost that sense of istiqamah in my relationship with Him..i was only so close to Him and so much needed Him during those hard times and now i've got what i want, i only do the usual routines, no special attributes, no waking in the middle of the nite calling Him to tell all the unbearable problems..i feel sorry for myself..too much of distractions- sports, songs, studies, series (drama)..and i was so drifted by all this temporary sweet things..went for qiamullail programme last Saturday in Dublin Mosque..realized that i missed listening to the azan so much that i nearly cried hearing one..and that nite was the nite wasn't like any others..despite the many people around, i felt so comfortable 'talking' to Him like there was simply no distraction..ya Allah forgive me, startled by the ingoing nikmat u give despite my ignorance of U..

and again, today everything went unexpectedly well (thanks Him!)

General Election: Student Union

First attempt of writing about politics, starting from the very basic institution, my college..

I see this whole week as a week of flyers, posters, emails, candies, and also promises!

There were flyers given away when you stepped out of the lecture theatre, at the café, anywhere u’d probably be..mentioning the posters hanging around the college, at the students areas in the hospital, in the library; it really brought me to remember my memories of being in a team of promoting a friend back in matriculation..we sneaked out at 2a.m to hang out posters that we made, some simple ones with cartoons and all (I think I keep one poster I made with me, at home maybe!) and we only finished around 4 in the morning..next day my tutorial mates (guys) told me that they saw us the nite before sneaking out to hang up the posters..kantoi! but it was worth it, she was elected for the students board! All sweats paid off..

Back to the original story, yeah I also received many emails from the teams that are competing, promoting themselves with photos and all, and what benefits they’ll bring to the students if they are elected for this year’s Student Union..all 3 teams went down to the theatre (turun padang, the common term in Malay), good strategy I say, they entered the lecture theatre before the lectures began, stealing 15 minutes of the time to give a powerpoint presentations of their missions of the year, how’d they being the Student Union can make your life in the school a better one (the candy part is when at the end of their presentation, they passed around some candies for the students..early bribe, but a pleasant one I guess) most promotes the same objectives, but came in many different ways of doing them; exam formats, exam fees, food in the canteen, cultural events, sports facilities, PRAYER ROOMS, toilets, STUDENT BAR, the intranet, those things students always complaining about, the list never ends..i wonder are these words to be kept or are they just passes of winning?

Here goes the 3 teams that are competing (I’m not mentioning any names for some purposes)

1. The Atlas Team

I would say this team stood up in all 3 groups the most. They have their official t-shirt that they wear during the campaigns, they put posters with their faces on it, and I think they are a better mixture when it comes to their level of institution..one already had a degree, two ppl in their fourth med, two in my class, others are from the 1st med and also pre-med.

Cons:
One candidate made a mistake of talking out loud in a bus how she doesn't like Malaysian performance during last year’s International Night that she puts it in between the other performances for this year’s event (she’s in the International Night’s committees)..usually they said our performance is the best, n they always put it the last one and we always got the standing ovations from the crowd out of it..it doesn’t really matters to me..i’m not involved in the performance or anything concerns with it, but clearly she has brought anger to the ppl who was involved with it, n she might lose a bunch of votes out of that..words have already been spread, and she’ll be regretting what she said later..she has created an environment of hatred towards herself from the very beginning (an irritating person I say)

The other one from my class, he’s a good guy I think, but my friends hate him for being boastful and acting like a real brilliant student in class by asking questions that are clearly advanced of the topics (yeah he’s the one with the degree)

From my P.O.V:
It’s good to have 2 Muslim representatives in this team, but the only problem is that are they really practice Islam as their way of life. Ppl told me that the one from the pre-med is a good guy, yeah I think he’s a very friendly guy that befriended most people from different backgrounds. And the one in the 4th med (gosh he’s cute!:P) looks like a very shy guy, seems pretty normal to me. but what matters most is, are these people able to carry out their tasks in fulfilling the needs of the Muslim students of this college (prayer room, halal food, etc). if they are, then it’s good. If they’re not, then the Muslims have clearly made a mistake of voting this team. (I dunno why my Arab friends keep telling me to vote for this team. What’d they see in them? This time it really goes paradoxically between them I think, not like the usual them like before, always opposing stuff like the college balls, class gatherings and all)

One thing is, I’ve got a feeling that this team is not the one that really matters how ‘minor’ people like the Malaysians feel, moreover our needs.

2. The A Team

This is quite a controversial team. No single white people in the team, can you believe it? What were they thinking when they were forming their team? I mean, clearly they won’t win the hearts of the Irish and most white people from US or Canada (yeah surely there’ll be some exceptions, I’m not saying all!). The candidate that’s competing for the president is my class’s former Representative (Class Rep in our First Med) and yeah he did a brilliant job being as one before. I guess he is expanding his wings and polishing his leadership ability in the run as the pres.

Cons:
Bad mixtures of candidates’ level of institution. Too many from the first med, one from the pre-med, the others from my class, the 3rd med. They are a bunch of great people, it’s just that if they can mix up the other people from the 4th med, that’d be better. The more experienced u are in a med school, the better usage people found u. also, less interesting campaigns compared to the atlas team, no fancy t-shirt and no fancy posters (but I like their posters saying that ‘We Speak Your Language’ which they do in many languages including Malay- yeah there’s one Malaysian candidate in this team, an Indian girl though). Other thing as I already said, no white representative, which is fine to me, but thinner their chance to win this election I guess.

From my P.O.V:
The one in the run for pres, he’s a Muslim guy. When he was our class rep, what I observed was he wasn’t really followed the religions’ rules. Whether he had to, due to the situational demands (u have to join most activities held in your class if u’re a class rep, even though attending the college ball and afterparty at some pubs, man u just have to mix around I guess!) or he did that intentionally, only God knows best. But in our second med, I happened to bump into him few times at the prayer room, and he was clearly a lot friendlier to the Malaysians compared to before. I’m not going to interpret how things going on in him, but I do hope if his team is picked, he will fulfil the needs of the Muslims here. Yeah there are 3 Muslims representatives in this team, but I’m not sure whether they are the practice ones. (have you ever wondered how responsibilities can change one’s faith? I always do!)

I do think this team will care about the needs of the minors, as most of them are coloured people. I dunno.

3. Team ‘With It”

This is the weird one, I’ve never seen most of their faces and I wonder where do they come from. Haha. Most are from the 4th med, and only one from my class and one from the school of pharmacy. I think it’s weird to vote for people that’s unfamiliar to u, don’t u think so? I don’t have much to talk on this team, though they seemed to have a good presentation (with smart looks and all), I don’t know a single person out of them and the one’s competing for pres is a woman. Outruled!

At the end of the day,

Most teams have the same main objectives
1. to make sure that the students have great (and fair) learning experiences
2. to make sure that the students have sufficient facilities and have fun throughout the course

So how do you decide when they all promised the fairly equal and same things?

My answer is, I would decide on the one that can fulfil and ease the life of a Muslim student here in this college, my life as a Muslim here. I don’t know bout others, maybe they have their own evaluation on things (like a friend of mine said ‘ikut masing2la nak pilih siapa, sendiri punya opinion!’). But when things are even now, it has come to personal reasons to be considered I guess, like religion and own needs. Whether this person I chose is the one that helps me to keep my prayer time on schedule by proposing a proper prayer room at the library, or whether this person is the one striving hard on doing charity works that would end up feeding the mouth of the Church people, u decide it!

And my vote? It’s for me to know and keep it as only mine.

i'm ZOHNked

stop a while in the midst of my studies, i was surfing the net for CBS website on the latest SURVIVOR: ALL STARS, my current fav. show on tv, apart from Friends, Scrubs (love JD so!), ER, the O.C, Malcolm, Futurama..err macam banyak je nak list..haha

i still had the 'heat' of last nite's survivor, watching my fav Ethan Zohn playing his game in his own fairness, (i mean, who'd apologize after causing the delay in the run of immunity challege?)..i thot he was going to be voted out last nite after the thing he'd done to Mogo Mogo, but again, honesty saved the day!but i knew his day's coming, so soon..they'll never let a winner wins again after all..

and i couldn't be more right, yes he'd already been voted out actually..that show in US television is 3 episodes in advanced compared to in Ireland, so they've already put on the review of the last 3 episodes which haven't been shown here (i shouldn't have opened the page in the first place! now that Ethan's gone, i've lost a bit of my interest of the show)..and one more important thing that i'd read bout him, man he's a JEW!!kecewa? yeah maybe a bit..it's not like the greatest disappointment ever (i'm not gonna marry him in any way even if he's a Christian, or even a Muslim..kenelah berpijak di bumi yang nyata!) but yeah, when u like someone, u'd hope for the good things to be under his belt right? and for me, i'll try my best avoiding things that are clearly opposite to my faith..

learning from others..take a case, a woman and her guy, deeply in love, BUT in 2 different religion..if the woman starts going so much crazy of the man, she'd see everything of him to be good, starting from himself, then his family, then his job, than his other-God knows business, then who knows she might also ends up liking his faith (nauzubillah jadi kat Muslim sister)..love is blind (so true!) macam kes2 yg berlaku kat M'sia..how a well-educated Muslim girl, with a very religious background, ended up running with her Christian boyfriend, erupting chaos to the whole Muslim community and declaring herself to be converting her religion..kering airmata mak ayah..jerih payah hantar belajar agama..

back to my kind of story..so i was a bit disappointed to be knowing this..but he is what he is..no one can change that..how good he played during the game, how kind of him to be doing the things he's doing now (wanna know wut i'm talking bout here?log on to www.grassrootsoccer.org), he's still a jew..satu kaum yg dilaknat oleh Allah s.w.t..all good deeds done by him couldn't repay the things his men are doing to our brothers and sisters in Palestine..

mentioning this brings sadness in my heart..i clearly remembered the pictures shown in the slides of Dr Mamoun Mobayed during the IMAM's (International Medical Assoc. of Malaysia) 1st Scientific Congress last month..he went on a trip to Palestine to educate the medical professionals and people there regarding PTSD (post traumatic stress disorders) and many other psychological issues faced by the people of Palestine..he took many photos with him thruout his course there and he presented 'em on slides during his session..it brought tears to one's eyes seeing the photos of the children, how they suffer growing up in that kind of environment, walking to school with tanks escorting them, wake up in the morning by the sounds of bullets..and one picture that i'll never forget is the one when two Israelis soldiers were taking a photo with a dead man on their feet, looking so happy, after killing the man! on that particular moment i swear i'd be hating jews for the rest of my life..

terasa puas bila dah lepaskan semua yang terpendam

lately i was so overloaded with problems that i exaggerated every small things that happened to me..rasa sangat bersalah bila fikir balik..i don't deserve to be doing all things i've done..betapa pemurahnya Tuhan Maha Pencipta...ampunkan hambamu yang lemah ini..

the paradox of life

there's element in life that u don't like, but that's the most thing u'll likely spend most of ur time with

there's people that u despise so much yet he's the one u spend most time thinking about

there's thing u wanted to do badly but that's the thing u numbered last on your 'should do' list

there's people trying to play God though they know they'll never be one

...

ever felt that u had enough of things?i do now..

(nak pegi ke tak kelas esok ni???kalau tak pegi sendiri yang rugi..kalau pegi rasa tak worth untuk sekeping 3euro bus ticket semata mata nak dengar one hour lecture je..and it's not a lecture, only an SDL (self directed learning) session..dahla blaja Basic Life Support balik..dulu dah amek course tu..nak pegi ke tak..pegi..tak..pegi..tak..macamana ni Labu??)