warning: make sure you read this on an empty stomach

First of all, my heartiest congratulations to Anem on your PINK engagement!! Can't say more but the colour suits you very well indeed. Like I said, though the distance of our house is like 'sekangkang kera', still I couldn't make it on your day. InshaAllah will try to be there on your big day ok, till then just keep the stories hot!

So my somebody's-fiancee-already friend had the time to do this just one day before her big day and tagged me on that. I supposed she must've had butterflies in her stomach and used this highly self-acclaimed technique to get over it. I'm damned sure it worked, like it did on me. Ha ha ha (euphoric laughs).

Here they go. Have a bucket or anything by your side if you've just had a big meal. Don't say I din warn you.

So the first attempt was my last potrait taken when I went to Istanbul in December. 7 out of 8 celebs turned out to be koreans/japanese/chinese. Those are attributed to my late maternal atuk who was a Chinese Muslim in Bukit Cina in Melaka. Nuff said.

I tried few more potraits that resulted in almost the same people. Boring... So this second one is a bit different I supposed. That was my potrait during Summer 2005 before embarking on a flight to Acheh.

2 attempts with the same celeb: Liya Kebede, an Ethiopian Supermodel. Keh keh keh (more euphoria..)

Oh God I should've just spent the last 30 minutes reading on cerebral palsy or cystic fibrosis instead but this fun is totally worth it..Har har har (elated now..)

dazed is mentally confused

He came in thru the door. "Hey.."

"Hey.." She leaned against the wall, giving way. "Where were you in the morning?" to start the conversations with.

"Owh I was..well..I decided not to tell you. It's a secret.." Cheeky face while messing the thumbtacks on the softboard.

"Ah haa..so it's a new thing not to tell me things haa.." She was in the game.

"Ok ok..I was in the clinic..but not telling you which one though.." Geeky smile, he was so in too.

"Oh don't be, I knew already!" Not buying the offer.

"Hahaa.." Surrended.

"Was it any good?" Serious conversation now. Educational.

"Owh it was ok, as usual.." As usual yer right. He's a brilliant chap everyone knows that.

* * *

Some people just get confused with flirtatious remarks, bestest mates and serious lifelong agreement.

May God show them the true path.

when sickness talks

Prof has mentioned that 1/3 of the class will get sick from the floating viruses from the infected kids in the hospital. I succumbed to it on the 4th day being in. Lembik nye aku nye immunity.

First the sore throat then the myalgia and the temperature. Green phlegm and everything. Today the enteritis started, everything kept down through the throat came out through the backpassage minutes later. Eating was merely just for the sake of avoiding dehydration and starvation, the nikmat is already gone from the anosmia.

Couldn't do much studies, I went out to watch tv. 30 minutes of My Super Sweet Sixteen made me wanna puke evenmore. Sudahla virus2 ni menggeletek perutku, tgk spoilt brats ni lagi terasa nak muntah hijau. I prevented myself to do so, tak baik membazir nasi dgn ayam sup yg baru mkn tadi. Not like I spent a 2000usd on a dress or anything. Heh.

Funny thing was I've been taking Anadin which is Paracetamol. I noticed my eyes went puffy each time I got up from the sleep after the pills. I found out that I am actually allergic to simple Anadin too. OK from now on it'll only be Paracetamol jenama Panadol and nothing else. Gile la mengada immune system aku ni. So I was actually getting worse in the midst of trying to get better. Makan ubat nak baik tapi last2 lagi teruk sbb allergic reaction. Twisted, even my immunity is putar alam jugak.

I don't know whether I'll pass the quality control to attend the classes tomorrow. Jumaat dah ponteng. Missing the kids, tho they were the ones who got me into this mess. I don't really care.

p/s: Thinking about the uncertain future stimulated my gag reflex evenmore..haduih..

the unconditional love

I remember being in a Nephrology clinic one afternoon. The consultant came and gave a thick chart to me. "I want you to see this lady with a very sad background story. She had an accident few years ago and went into coma for a long time. She has peripheral vascular disease and subsequently had one of her leg amputated. She's also blind in one eye from the accident. Her GP sent her coz her Creatinine was over the roof. She's also complaining of pain in her toes which sounded like gout. I think in due time she needs to be on dialysis coz her kidneys are failing."

So I went out to the waiting area and called the name. Came this lady with a guy pushing her on the wheelchair. They're in their late 30's but she looked aged, maybe from her health problems. Her husband on the other hand appeared smart. Moderate. I greeted her and briefly introduced myself. We went into one of the rooms.

I was ready for any 'sad' story my consultant was saying.

No doubt she was in pain from the gout. And she didn't look so well. I suspected she developed a lot of complications from being sedentary having one leg and one eye, she prolly has underlying heart disease God knows. But somehow I could sense that she's happy. Very happy. From the stories she said how her husband helped her in a lot of stuff and has been putting up with her in difficult times. When I was about to look at her toes the husband bent down and gently removed the one shoe that she wore. The joint on big toe was swollen and tender. Other than that she also had some kind of evident peripheral vascular disease. The leg didn't look good.

The consultant came and I presented her case. He had a brief talk with her, having to know the patient for few years now. He asked whether she was OK with the possibility of going to dialysis soon. And also the big decision of another leg amputation if symptoms persist. If I were her I would've call it some way of sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga (mungkin lampu yg nak dipasang tu kemudian jatuh pecah atas badanku). She was surprisingly calm by the news. Her husband too, holding her shoulders tightly. I knew it there and then from the gesture that she had the rock solid support from someone that love her, that actually shielded her from any fear for what future may be. After a good discussion they agreed to come in at the suggested time to have an AV fistula performed on her arm for the dialysis. Then the husband gently put on the shoe back on her one foot and tied the lace. They went home right after.

Leaving me with a lot of questions on life and love.

How can someone love you so much that it doesn't bother him that you are not pretty?
How can someone love you so much that he's ok that you only have one leg, and about to lose another one soon?
How can someone love you so much that he's able to agree that you'll be in the hospital 3 times a week for few hours to have your bloods filtered, prolly for life if transplant does't happen?
How can someone love you so much when you are blind in one eye?
How can someone love you so much while he's still young and has a lot of other potentials, but still stick with his sad sad wife who's not even as pretty as she used to be and just have a crappy life? Period.

Ain't it strange how love works?

You met a guy and got married. Suddenly God wanted to test you and shit happened. But you turned up to be fine. Just fine. Coz this stranger you met once who got married to you is there for every difficult times you had.

I know when you say the unconditional love your parents show you, coz you're their blood and breed. What about this stranger that came into your life half-way through. How does that one work?

Probably for me it's more to ask would that one ever gonna work for me (if things occur)?

p/s: just on the side note to you who's speculating, i'm not in love or anything..

baby boom

In the dark hall we sat while Prof clicking the hand remote for the carousel slide projector. Pictures of kids and babies were projected on the white wall ahead of us. He stopped at this one photo. He was a plump baby sitting sideway facing to the side. Cute.

"Now what do you see here?"

Students mumbling in moderate tone, "bla bla..picture..mm..baby boy..bla bla..healthy.."

"Yeah he's a healthy looking baby boy, happy, and in no obvious distress. So anything wrong with him?"

"bla bla..increase BMI..bla bla.."

"Yeah. You can see there." (using a red laser pointer to point out) "His breasts are a bit prominent aren't they? Now is that normal in a baby at his age? Or shall I ask is that normal in a baby boy like him?"

"mmnn..normal yeah..bla bla..oestrogen..maternal..mm"

"That's true. The effect of maternal oestrogen in utero can cause babies to be born with breast tissues. It is normal and you will have to answer the maternal anxiety."

Pause

"I had a case when a grandmother came knocking on my door at night asking - Doctor, will my grandson become a homo when he grows up??!"

Laughs.


p/s: in true love with paeds