..actions&consequences..

in the name of Allah...

i've been leaving this page for god-knows how many long..sitting here watching the clusters of clouds moving fastly up in the bright sky thru the window while laying my lazy butt on this comfy chair of the library..life is good..God life IS really really good (say a lil' prayer for You..)..for the past few months i've been learning so much; academically, morally, etc. n for the past few months there have been so many things happened to me, events that are gonna leave marks on me and guide my life ahead..

i guess i shall start with the grandest one first..followed by others later, maybe on my next entry..

FIRST PROFESSIONAL EXAM
then the history began..my few last ones here i've expressed the pain n the hurtings i was having during 'my battle of the future' (heh)..yeah i admit that those are the most tiring periods of my life..more tiring than playing a full 20 minutes of basketball back in high school, more tiring than standing straight for couple of hours in the hot afternoon sun pulling the 38lbs bow while trying to get the carbon arrows on bulls eye and of course even more tiring than those 9 papers i was having during SPM..haha that's for sure..

yeah for this purpose only, i lost my interest of others than my lecture notes, i slept with books all around me, sometimes i partially slept or in another word my unwanted sleeps during my late nite studies or i even slept with my back on the walls..i woke up in the morning with my heart pumping hard wondering wut time was it n was i losing the minutes of my studies, i lost my biological clock as i kept waking up in my sleeps after i dreamt of something bad (gave me opporturnity to tell Him all my problems), i was so fragile that i cried on every single saddening thing that crosssed my mind (home especially), i got dark circles under my eyes of the lacking of sleeps, i ate junks, my things were all over the place, i spent less times with my mates that i worried so much they hated me for that, i became less me and more somebody else, i didn't have any other time for everything else except for books and Him, not even for my own-self...

(forgive me God for being such an imbalance Muslimah, and forgive me my dear pals if i ever abandoned u during those times)

action is followed by consequences (action&consequences..like the wife of the french-guy in the movie Matrix Reloaded said to Neo, or was it the french guy himself? :p) my version of consequence is different..i was so sured to have a place for repeating one or two papers or at least for pass-failed orals but the paradox of me was immediately after finishing the papers i just followed my sub-conscious actions of packing all the books and lecture notes beside my bed and put them away back at the shelves..my heart said i would but not so for my sub-conscious mind..results came out 1 day after i finished my anatomy practical, so fast that i couldn't even think of them..n guess what

i found my number neither on the failed list, nor the pass-failed list...i passed, yeah i passed my FIRST PROF EXAM!!

i didn't believe my eyes at first so i checked on the list more than twice (i was with Yani checking the results) and after comfirming that we were clear, me and Yani cried so hard accepting this unbelievable miracle partly, and the other part was being so much grateful of the gift He gave us..i contacted my friends to ask on theirs and alhamdulillah most of my friends passed too (especially for my closest full-course MARA mates, we've done a pretty good job here guys and i am so proud of us all!)..then i called my parents back home to break the good news and they were so happy for me (i'm happy and mostly grateful to have u too dear Mak n Abah!)

after the results...

here i am now..n it's getting darker outside..i have to go back home and i'm gonna spend the rest of the day like a normal person..i have a month of pure holidays and i'm gonna spend them wisely..i have to do everything that i planned to do and pay my nazaar for this greatest gift from Him..i'm gonna keep the promises i vowed i'd be doing after the exam..i've got everything i want and it's my time to be doing something i'm supposed to do..i grant the strength from u O' Allah, for me to continue my jihad...

seems like i've reached the end, but this end is the beginning of everything...

+++my special thanks to everyone that prayed for me and sent me encouragements, every little effort counts and i thank u for them...i really do...