Sunday, December 16, 2007

it's about time (for everything to happen)

I went out for coffee and dinner in town when I realized it was quite late to return to my far away home. So I decided to crash in the usual place at the neighbourhood I used to live for 3 years during the student's life. I was heading towards the place when I saw a familiar figure from afar. Garfield?! So I shouted his name and it was knee-jerk reflex he came running to me. I mishhh youuuu....odd enough he was running back and forth to me and towards my old place with that white door. Obviously he remembers me..aaaawwwWw..


This week has been MENTAL. 5 months of internship I have never been in such frustrations, anger and madness. I finally have reached the limit, the boiling point where things started to surface. I realized I was being very nice, em too nice to many group of people but got shites in return.

Never in my life I swore in vulgarity so much, my colleagues started to question the nice Wan who seemed to have gone. Thursday was painstaking, everything started coming up to the nose level. That night I was on-call and there was a cardiac arrest. I did the last compression before we called it. She didn't make it. The registrar was brilliant, but somehow I was terribly affected by the incident. Friday morning my kind SHO asked the queasy look. Wrong move. It was like poking a balloon full of water with a needle, I burst out in tears. Ah you know when you're feeling awful and people acknowledge, you simply can't help it..

I don't know for how long I can bear this bollocks anymore. It's really getting into my skin now..

Speaking of which, I finally came to another crossroads, again. Being an indecisive person is terrible. I can't make a straight call. I'd love to care less and proceed, but I'd be lying to my heart. I don't know..