Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I need some inspirations

This is it. I couldn't help myself feeling so messed up about things so tiny and insignificant but really getting in my way now.

It started with the on-call list this morning, lucky enough I escaped the deadly 1st day of work on-call, thank God. Then it was the teammate who made his own call for the distributions of jobs. WTF! He's not getting away with this I can assure you (he's gonna learn the real person he's dealing with soon). And that was enough to heat up my morning.

My favourite part of the day was when The Boss made an appointment to see all of the interns working with him for the whole year. He has always been an inspiring person to me all these while so doing that really boost the spirits up. He discussed about the research opportunities we have working with him, and I addressed about my interests in things related to paediatrics. We'll see. I'm so in love with him and his kind-hearted research registrar I do! (literally)

Apart from work, the new place has been fixed pretty much. It still have this same emptiness and unfamiliarities inside though. I think I need more time to adapt this time. I went to meet the familiar friends in town yesterday. We discussed about how hard this few weeks have been, no same faces to laugh and bitch around and everything is fairly solitarily done.

As for myself, these few days have been extra extra hard. No internet connection at home for a fast company, and I really miss the comforts of familiar friends. I miss the people who understand me, that I don't have to do extra efforts to be understood. At one point I was wrecked and I thought I've became too old to go through the process of gaining mutual understandings from people from scratch. But soon I realized that for as long as I'm breathing, this process will never stop so I just have to live with it. You just have to be patience and give me more times to deal with it. God I'm really struggling to wean myself from my old familiar life.

Nonetheless, I have prioritize my business and please dear God help me to get through this one fine.

I made a vow to myself that I'm not letting people downgrading me as they wish, I'll work honestly and with all my hearts seek every opportunity to become a better doctor.