please don't go tonight
The head nurse (sister) in the Respiratory ward said to me before I left for home today.
"I'd be taking my hat off if he survives till morning tomorrow."
It's Mr Smith. He horribly deteriorated furthermore today. I admit that I've been very busy lately and skipped my usual little chats with him in the morning like I always did, taking his confusions and deteriorations for the reasons to not trying to make the usual morning conversations with him. Clearly it was a big mistake. You'll never know when is your last good moment with your patient's gonna be.
So I went to see him before I left. His daughter was there, whom I know well too. I asked her to leave for a moment so that I can resite his IV cannula. I called his name out loud and he didn't reply. I remember the last sane moment of him in the morning we found him in pain he refused to talk to my SHO and wanted only "the Muslim doctor" to attend him. I could guess by having the look at him - thin chance he'll make it through the night.
Slowly I whispered syahadah into his ears, hoping he'd hear me and say and actually mean it. It saddened me to think about what's awaiting him in coming moments. I scared myself coming to think about it too.
I am utterly devastated by this.
"I'd be taking my hat off if he survives till morning tomorrow."
It's Mr Smith. He horribly deteriorated furthermore today. I admit that I've been very busy lately and skipped my usual little chats with him in the morning like I always did, taking his confusions and deteriorations for the reasons to not trying to make the usual morning conversations with him. Clearly it was a big mistake. You'll never know when is your last good moment with your patient's gonna be.
So I went to see him before I left. His daughter was there, whom I know well too. I asked her to leave for a moment so that I can resite his IV cannula. I called his name out loud and he didn't reply. I remember the last sane moment of him in the morning we found him in pain he refused to talk to my SHO and wanted only "the Muslim doctor" to attend him. I could guess by having the look at him - thin chance he'll make it through the night.
Slowly I whispered syahadah into his ears, hoping he'd hear me and say and actually mean it. It saddened me to think about what's awaiting him in coming moments. I scared myself coming to think about it too.
I am utterly devastated by this.
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